I don't know where I stand.

For every single time that I make up my mind that I'm ultimately awesome, there is another time where I feel and seem to know without a doubt that I'm an absolutely terrible person.

Truth, is all a matter of perspective, some would say, but surely there has to be an underlying truth isn't there? I wonder indeed. I don't know. I don't know myself anymore. I don't think I ever did. I got lost somewhere, in that landscape of ceaseless hiding, deceit, betrayal and lies.

Every single aspect of myself, I've found myself questioning and there's almost nothing I know about myself for certain if anything at all.

Then of course it wouldn't be reasonable for me to keep getting angry when people don't understand me would it..if I can't even understand myself.

I'm a mess. Someone, anyone.

Tell me who I am.

Just another starstruck (see above for evidence*) wanderer trying to find his way in this horribly confusing and sometimes messed up world.

This space as you might have realised is for my own venting. It's where I talk, to myself. To the universe. It's where I don't lie. Much. Chances are you won't get more truth out of me than these few billion pages of angst.

My life isn't that bad. Sometimes. The good parts just usually end up being the blank dates in between the posts you see. So yes, just to practice my math and to cheer myself up a little, the number of posts is inversely proportional to my mental wellbeing. Yes that counts as math with me.

And despite the wry smile on my face and the grin I can imagine on yours, I'm still rather sombre.

I promise you I'm sunny somedays. Stick around. You never know what you may learn.

*hint may or may not be in big black font at the top of the page.