My mood swings are absolutely ridiculous.

**********************************************

What's stopping you now?

Why aren't you going for it buddy boy?

I'm afraid.

I don't want to write that essay and have it disparaged.

I KNOW I'm going to fail so why bother.

But you don't. There's still a chance.

Not enough to make me feel like writing that essay.

Why?

Despite all of potential, the future.

I don't feel like it.

But.

You know you want it. At the same time, you just don't.

It's just a fucking essay.

Fuck you.

Fuck YOU. Write the damn thing.

YOU write the damn thing.

Fuck.

****************************************************

I apologize.

Just another starstruck (see above for evidence*) wanderer trying to find his way in this horribly confusing and sometimes messed up world.

This space as you might have realised is for my own venting. It's where I talk, to myself. To the universe. It's where I don't lie. Much. Chances are you won't get more truth out of me than these few billion pages of angst.

My life isn't that bad. Sometimes. The good parts just usually end up being the blank dates in between the posts you see. So yes, just to practice my math and to cheer myself up a little, the number of posts is inversely proportional to my mental wellbeing. Yes that counts as math with me.

And despite the wry smile on my face and the grin I can imagine on yours, I'm still rather sombre.

I promise you I'm sunny somedays. Stick around. You never know what you may learn.

*hint may or may not be in big black font at the top of the page.