'Hey did you know Bradley wants to join RP.'
He snorted in derision, that arrogant thing? He probably had enough acting ability to get in, if he pushed himself to the limit, but with that disposition? No. Not to mention the fact that he couldn't stand him. Nor could anyone else.

"Are you insane? Holy shit I wouldn't be able to stand him, not that he would get in anyway"
'Yeah he's arrogant like hell, I don't know how anyone can tolerate that giant ego of his'
They laughed it off. Nope it was never going to happen. Aahh well he thought, life in RP was sacred, no place for people like that. It was his refuge, their refuge, a refuge that they all shared.

Did you hear? Darren Foo wants to join RP

That sentence hit him like a bullet. You wouldn't see much from the outside, at first. But inside was another story.
"FUCK NO" he exhortated, uncharacteristic anger, hate and absolute venom dripping from the normally placid voice of his.
"Never, don't let him join." He breathed, a trace of bitterness still detectable.

'Whats wrong with him'

"Everything, just don't let him in"
Memories welled up, his eyes burned for a moment, but he smothered those tears with his rage.

'I sit next to him in class, he's a nice guy, and he's funny'

"No he isn't" He practically cried.
"He's an asshole, a goddamn fucker if I've ever seen one"
Oh yes, nice guy, or so he thought, funny, yes craving for attention all the time. Not afraid to push aside one for his own gain. Mocking, so that he would be not. Nice guy my fucking ass he thought. He remembered the look in those eyes. The contempt, the sneering expression on his face. He was one of them, sure as hell.

'Seriously whats wrong with him? He's perfectly fine, tell me'

"HE's one of THEM DAMMIT" choking, one of those, who had no respect for him. Flickers, of a time past, cast aside. Yes, he remembered, he would always remember. One day, they would burn.

'What are you talking about'

"Damn you, you knew exactly what I'm talking about. The taunts the faces, everything, people like him screwed up my life. And no way in hell is he going to come here. Not into this place. Its not for people like him. Those, out to destroy. The destroyers. They have no place on this earth, let alone in my place. I let them rule the outside world, but I won't push back the frontier. Not this frontier"
Like real he said that, he wished to. But no, the fact that he didn't already get his intent mean't he probably wouldn't.

He extricated himself from the situation. The other one made a good friend, but he wasn't perfect. He didn't even know who to be angry at, at Darren for even having the audacity to try, or himself, for refusing to speak clearly, for not having the strength to tell his friends what he really felt.

Labels: don't back down, nightmares, rant, RP, sanity