I was sitting on the bus today, with my emotions all in a mix when a girl came up. She made to sit, then when I turned and looked at her she backed away, as if scared and moved on.

:/

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Yay my role got shifted from the ultra tough role of Red.

Or not so yay. Sighs, one of the understudys have to play that role now, I'm afraid its going to kill them. I was dying myself and I thought I was finally getting the heck of it.

Now I'm yellow, and I'm finding the experience a little bothersome. Its a young character, naive and child-like and I found that when I play the character I just let down my walls and play it out like myself inside.

Just this vulnerable hesitant human being.

Its messing with their mind, cause that part of me isn't meant to be shown to the world, and I can't just snap in and out of it.

Its literally wearing my heart on my sleeve there. And considering how stupidly and easily hurt I am its going to cause problems eventually.

It already did I guess. If I'm upset I won't be able to suck it up and move on like I normally do. I'll end up looking all melancholy and depressed and people will start asking me which part of my sky fell down.

Its a part of me that though it works in the play, in a sense it doesn't work with the real world. It cannot live in the real world.

Sighs.

My character dies by the way.

Thats totally awesome

Labels: fragments, myself, RP