My role is mother you see. How glamorous.

It doesn't matter that my role is unglamorous.

It doesn't matter that my role is a female role and I've never done that before.

Its not that the lines are so badly written and that the character isn't even solid. Not that the lines are merely lines and nothing more.

Its not the role.

Its why I've got it.

Freak.

*******************

I'm tired.

I've did this last year.

It sucked.

I'm not going to argue with them, I'll let them take charge.

I'm not going to offer my opinion anymore. I asked one question and I get asked to shut up while everyone else fires away criticisms with impunity.

I've got other places to be where people actually appreciate the fact that I'm there.

Off-stage role huh? I don't even know why Nathaniel tried to appease me by giving me that long monologue.

Why did he even want to make me happy. Its not like he values my contribution anyway. Does he care about offending me?

Something tells me he doesn't.

Maybe he was afraid that I'd stir up a shitstorm.

Maybe.

Its too early to pass judgement.

We'll see.

Just another starstruck (see above for evidence*) wanderer trying to find his way in this horribly confusing and sometimes messed up world.

This space as you might have realised is for my own venting. It's where I talk, to myself. To the universe. It's where I don't lie. Much. Chances are you won't get more truth out of me than these few billion pages of angst.

My life isn't that bad. Sometimes. The good parts just usually end up being the blank dates in between the posts you see. So yes, just to practice my math and to cheer myself up a little, the number of posts is inversely proportional to my mental wellbeing. Yes that counts as math with me.

And despite the wry smile on my face and the grin I can imagine on yours, I'm still rather sombre.

I promise you I'm sunny somedays. Stick around. You never know what you may learn.

*hint may or may not be in big black font at the top of the page.