Its incredibly messed up.

Somewhere along there in the fear of the unknown.

I don't trust as many people as I should.

Perhaps I have so few close friends because I don't let that many past my...fake stupidity.

In a messed up way I expect people to be able to see through it.

I make it hard for people to understand me, but I still expect them to.

I get angry when people don't know who I am, but spend most of my time trying to hide myself from the world.

I'm afraid.

Of people.

I know what people can do, to a young and free spirit.

I didn't have trust issues once.

I sound so bitter and cynical.

I'm just... paranoid.

I just grew up.

Okay that was bitter and cynical.

In a weird way I'm still an idealist and optimist. Just a very messed up one.

You see? I don't make sense.

Well thats cause I don't know who I am now.

Yeap, I'm still in the middle of identity crisis 124192820958406285.

Who is Ian without all this teenage angst.

dun dun dun.

> Always serious, but never serious.

What a conundrum

dum dum dum.

Slight change in lettering, huge change in meaning

ding ding ding!

Okay I'm high now.

Heh, just a little too tired to be high.

Somewhere there, somewhere here, somehow ranting monologuing and still not feeling like ending this post.

I'll have a fun time tagging this won't I.

Heh. um.

I have a horrible time writing out intros and conclusions you know.

So I shall end here. (:

Or perhaps I shall do it CSI: Miami style.

Yes. I shall.

Did you hear the one about guy who lost his left arm?

He's

All right.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Just another starstruck (see above for evidence*) wanderer trying to find his way in this horribly confusing and sometimes messed up world.

This space as you might have realised is for my own venting. It's where I talk, to myself. To the universe. It's where I don't lie. Much. Chances are you won't get more truth out of me than these few billion pages of angst.

My life isn't that bad. Sometimes. The good parts just usually end up being the blank dates in between the posts you see. So yes, just to practice my math and to cheer myself up a little, the number of posts is inversely proportional to my mental wellbeing. Yes that counts as math with me.

And despite the wry smile on my face and the grin I can imagine on yours, I'm still rather sombre.

I promise you I'm sunny somedays. Stick around. You never know what you may learn.

*hint may or may not be in big black font at the top of the page.