Sometimes I realise I'm really lucky, then I feel kinda bad because I don't thank God for giving me this life, and making things the way they are enough.

You know I remember there was a point of time, when to me everyone seemed so sure of who they were, so set in their ways. So assured.

People were definites, they were one thing or another.

I on the other hand, was a freak. I was an indecisive freak. I would blow one way first and then the other. I was a contradiction. Nothing about me was set.

But I guess I realised I was wrong.

I've learnt things.

I've learnt that other people can be contradictions too. That she can speak too much, yet speak too little. Talk too much, push too hard, yet push too little.

Uptight and obsessive, yet indecisive and carefree.

Be uncompromising radical, impulsive and strong, yet also soft and sweet. Too soft at times.

Maybe I'm alright and normal after all.

Or maybe.

Maybe I'm onto something.

Just another starstruck (see above for evidence*) wanderer trying to find his way in this horribly confusing and sometimes messed up world.

This space as you might have realised is for my own venting. It's where I talk, to myself. To the universe. It's where I don't lie. Much. Chances are you won't get more truth out of me than these few billion pages of angst.

My life isn't that bad. Sometimes. The good parts just usually end up being the blank dates in between the posts you see. So yes, just to practice my math and to cheer myself up a little, the number of posts is inversely proportional to my mental wellbeing. Yes that counts as math with me.

And despite the wry smile on my face and the grin I can imagine on yours, I'm still rather sombre.

I promise you I'm sunny somedays. Stick around. You never know what you may learn.

*hint may or may not be in big black font at the top of the page.