I shouldn't have spent the whole day in an emo rut.

I'm useless.

Just completely useless.

I would leave them. But I can't. Cause thats how damn bloody useless I am.

They don't need me. Not one of them. But I find myself hinged on every word, everything said, everything unsaid. And worrying, that they'll realise they don't need me and cast me away.

Perhaps it would be better that way. Its selfish to keep hanging on. Better to suffer me, than to suffer them.

No, this is pointless, I'll never do it anyway.

Self-improve...

it can only get so far. How more do you think you can go? Its a long way still. They don't need you. They don't need your crap.

You aren't that important to them anyway.

Get a life.

But I can't. This is it.

Just another starstruck (see above for evidence*) wanderer trying to find his way in this horribly confusing and sometimes messed up world.

This space as you might have realised is for my own venting. It's where I talk, to myself. To the universe. It's where I don't lie. Much. Chances are you won't get more truth out of me than these few billion pages of angst.

My life isn't that bad. Sometimes. The good parts just usually end up being the blank dates in between the posts you see. So yes, just to practice my math and to cheer myself up a little, the number of posts is inversely proportional to my mental wellbeing. Yes that counts as math with me.

And despite the wry smile on my face and the grin I can imagine on yours, I'm still rather sombre.

I promise you I'm sunny somedays. Stick around. You never know what you may learn.

*hint may or may not be in big black font at the top of the page.