Ian, obsessive tagger of cryptic indecipherable posts is back.

***************************************************

just as a weird disclaimer. I realise I only say what I want to say in like one out of every eight posts I have here. Yes, that's just a random number I pulled out of my butt today while talking to someone, but I guess since the human brain can't actually understand statistics, you get my point.

****************************************************

I use the phrase forget it a lot.

Maybe I'm like a girl or what, but I rarely mean the phrase entirely when I say it.

I mean the phrase lah, but whenever I use it I'm always hoping the other person chooses not to forget it. I tend to use the phrase when I'm well, as some people would call it "whining" (in the most derogatory of terms of course) but for some reason the other people are missing the point. It's not a blatant call out like, and doesn't mean SHIT I'M ANGRY; on the contrary I actually really telling the other person to move on, its just that I'm wistfully hoping that the other person will pick out the slight sense of futility that I have whenever I say it out. They rarely do I guess.

Note: The phrase I use when I'm annoyed or whatever is like haiya nevermind, or haiya nevermind lah. It usually depends how much I like you, I mean if I don't like you I'll just say nothing. As in the word lah. Yeah, "nothing". Like what's up? "nothing". "nothing lah" works too. My standards for dealing with people really vary a lot.

**********************************************

Sorry there's really a few things on my mind now and I gotta blast it out here and crash. I guess I should do two posts? But the thing is I don't have the energy for that right now, and disguising posts and hitting them long is odd. Besides, I guess in a stripped form, they make better advice for my future self. (HI BTW, I LOVE YOU FUTURE IAN, UNLESS YOU LIKE UM, ARE HEAVIER THAN ME NOW, AND NOT MUCH TALLER)

Bleh.

Yeah, I've been wondering about the nature of love again. I mean, if you truly love someone, can that love ever really die? If you really loved that person, is it possible to stop and not love anymore? If its cause of something the other person did, and you stop loving, is that still well, proper love?

That being said, I think that I guess you never really get over people. I mean, like I suppose girls from your past actually still have a piece of you; I mean why else do people not like to talk to their exes, maybe its a little awkward but still, most of the time, (at least from movies) when they say hey, we can still be friends after this if it doesn't work out you know that's just not going to happen.

And is it too assuming to say that those who somehow can must have been wrong about their romantic notions from each other when they began and realised it at some point?

Bah, I'm supposed to be expressing my views, but I guess no one wants to read a post full of me saying "I think"s about something, especially love and all. Though I think future me is not very happy because my supposed conciseness is degenerating into a long monologue about love where my own position isn't very clear.

I used to think love was that funny feeling you got when you looked at someone and your heart skipped a beat, that love made you do stupid things like follow the other person around and be irrationally happy around them. I know that that's not all of what love was, but I guess it was part of it. Or at least I thought.

Now I'm not sure.

Darn it, you're a downright sucker.

And how am I going to get over you.

I'll be alright I guess.

Just not for tonight.

Can I?

Though, I guess I don't.

Oh shit.