But this long process of cutting loose, and ditching people has become all too familiar.

Maybe once in a lifetime you do get people who you will keep by your side for the rest of your lives. And maybe that's why they mean so much you see. because they are once in a lifetime. So if you think you've got a billion right now, well yeah. Just wait a year or two.

Toxic.

When people become toxic, when the relationship get's toxic then yeah. I ditch them.

Or sometimes it's the simple fact that the costs outweigh the benefits.

Once that happens, I stop apologizing for shit I don't want to apologize for.

And that's usually enough to kill things.

Which further proves me right. Because what sort of friendship is one that only functions as long as one party decides to apologize profusely for everything?

Fuck.

Fuck this world. Fuck people.

I know what I'm doing now. Bitch.

Maybe I don't.

Doesn't mean I'm always wrong either.

I just stop caring more than they do.

Which most of the time, turns out to be none at all.

Because life fucking sucks like that.

Just another starstruck (see above for evidence*) wanderer trying to find his way in this horribly confusing and sometimes messed up world.

This space as you might have realised is for my own venting. It's where I talk, to myself. To the universe. It's where I don't lie. Much. Chances are you won't get more truth out of me than these few billion pages of angst.

My life isn't that bad. Sometimes. The good parts just usually end up being the blank dates in between the posts you see. So yes, just to practice my math and to cheer myself up a little, the number of posts is inversely proportional to my mental wellbeing. Yes that counts as math with me.

And despite the wry smile on my face and the grin I can imagine on yours, I'm still rather sombre.

I promise you I'm sunny somedays. Stick around. You never know what you may learn.

*hint may or may not be in big black font at the top of the page.