Dear God. I'm sorry for not trusting you.
And thank you for the miracle that happened. Well. Yesterday.
Thank you so so much.
I don't know why you've decided it's better for us to stay apart, and why all of this has happened. But I think you know it's for the best.
The question is. Whose best.
God I'm so so worried for her. I always am. I'm worried about the path she's taking. Away from you. It's destructive. I don't feel like publishing this God because I know she'll hate it but it's how I feel.
It hurt me to read her blog. I'm so scared for her. The parts about me were painful. The parts that weren't were unbearable. that's why I just closed the tabs. I couldn't bear to look at them. I'm so so scared and afraid.
She's in your hands now. She hates you, might not believe in you but she needs you all the same. Protect her please. Maybe she needs a bit of hurt to push her back onto the right path, but don't hurt her too much please. Keep her out of harm's way. People who will destroy her. People who don't care for her and will exploit and use her. I fear for her. And whatever happens. Take her back.
I don't want her to go down that road. And I'm sorry God. I tried and I slid a little down with her. But. Keep her safe. Keep her kind.
She's hurt so much already. Heal her God. Heal her and bring her back. To you.
I've never been so scared for her before. It's the one thing that will keep my mind on her, when we've finished our business already. But it's one thing I want to purge from my mind. Because it's terrible. Because I can't bear the thought. I really can't.
Take this burden from my thoughts. It's one that's a little too large for me to bear, and I can't do anything about it. Guide and guard her Lord Father.
Because this guard can't watch for her anymore.
Amen.
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I'm sorry you read that if you did.
There's only one way you can make me cry now Jessica.
Don't hurt yourself. Don't.