Ahh.. another batch of TIME magazines had arrived. He opened them and scanned them. Really, they were no different from the newspapers, full of death and destruction, and they made you look educated if you were seen reading them. Helpfully, unlike newspapers you could store them in shelves of your room, or just "conveniently" leave them about places where it would be obvious to others that you had been reading them. He stuffed a spoonful of rice in his mouth as he flipped the first page, it was tasteless. America is in decline, the magazine informed him as he forced another scoop of his meal down his throat. The western world is being overtaken by eastern nations as they pick up western ideals. The current richest countries in the world are in Scandinavia.

Disgruntled by something, he realized he was thirsty. He only seemed to notice at mealtimes. Intrigued by the bland article that he was reading he picked it up and sauntered over to the fridge. Not tearing his eyes off the page ( America ranks 28 in the world for health) he swiped a cup and opened the fridge. He took out a jug of water, holding it in one hand, the cup in another and the magazine with both. He paused for a second to pour the water into his cup, and contemplated taking the entire jug of water back to the dinner table with him.

He stood in thought for a second. It would have been in silence if not for the sniff that punctuated that second. The fridge door closed. He narrowed his eyes in irritation and shifting the magazine to his right hand, he reached for the door with his jug-filled left.

He pulled, it didn't budge. He mentally made a note to himself to get back to working out as he sniffed once more and pulled harder. The handle came off in his hand and suddenly he was left holding a large jug of water, a cup of water, a magazine and a large fridge handle while reeling backwards. He cursed and regained his balance as some water from the cup spilled onto him. He was thirsty. And just then he felt the urge to pee.

It was the most dastardly of urges and he would have let out a debilitating cry if not for the fact that he was afraid of dropping everything he was carrying and focused hard on that.

He rushed back to the dinner table. Dropped the magazine and containers of water and ran back to the fridge. The reattachment was taking a much longer time than he had expected. He fumbled with it, beads of sweat forming as the handle failed to catch. This was stupid, he thought, he wasn't this uncoordinated.

He sniffed and turned the handle around and tried not to think about nature's call and examined it. He had not broken it had he? After all, this was only the trillionth time that the handle had came off.

Brainwave, it had been upside down. Feeling very much like a hope for a better age he flipped it and reattached it with shaking fingers. It caught this time and the dull thud that signaled the reattachment signaled freedom. Immediately he sprinted to his toilet to relieve himself.

Bother he thought to himself later as he finished the rest of his tasteless dinner, his life was so boring. He sniffed again.