To feel so much hate.

To feel so much sadness.

To feel so much happiness.

To feel so much love.

I'm shooting back and forth, colliding and zinging into new heights all the time.

Randomness. Its a crazy thing. It shoots me off to places I've never been before. I'm too volatile.

I must stop. I'm becoming like a cartoon character. Exaggerated in my movements, and demonstrations of my feelings.

Poignancy, detachment. These are things I value sometimes.

But only at times.

At other times I feel that it is best to fill up the emptiness. To be involved and wrong than to be detached and aloof.

At times I feel think in short lines. Short lines that do not connect. That are separated by that single spacing because the single spacing properly shows the disconnect between them, yet at other times my sentences ramble on and on and on and in the end they form massive paragraphs that look utterly hideous and are a pain to read.

Perhaps this is just the beginning of a person. Perhaps who I am is not set yet. But I am becoming someone. And this is the beginning of that. Yet, such a thought is scary because it means that should I become only one of my many aspects now, that would seem a loss. Yet to continue like this would be terrible.

Oh heart, how long more can you hold this turmoil. Can you stand this strain.

Hate flows like a river. Its unending and consuming. It burns, at you and with you. It makes you burn, and you burn towards others. Hurting them in your own hurt. Destructive, yet satisfying.

Sadness is like a river. It never ends and comes down like a flood, drowning you in its encompassing being. It flows, and twists its way around any optimistic defense you have. Swirling, bringing you around and around and pushes you further and further downstream.

Happiness is like a river, when you are at your most joyful, your energies never end, happiness gives you buoyancy, and pushes you on towards your goal. Swimming downstream is always easy. It cools you on the hottest of days and you love it, you never want to get out.

Love is like a river. It stretches further than you can see. When you are caught up in it, you cannot get out. It will push you further than you want to go. Restrict your movements, and will make you feel like drowning at times. You can get out, by swimming hard. But in the end, you won't find yourself exactly where you got in, and you will sure be tired by the experience.