Sorry lah. Can?
Labels: open letter, sanity
Starstruck
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Because Cute, Smart, and Funny don't mean a thing
The above was supposed to be the real title, but trust me the blogskin screwed up on meLiving life to the fullest And I won't say anything at all. To all the lovely bitches like you Get your boots on |
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Puppet on a string - Saturday, April 30, 2011 @ 10:48 PM
Oh you got me. Like this. Just hanging on a string. You can twist, jerk, pull, drop it. And I'll go flying whichever way you want me to. Helpless, hopelessly and stupidly playable.
Don't you notice how I go crazy when you're not around? How I go crazier when you seem to be ignoring me? How I go even crazier when its possibly cause you're pissed at me and how I go freaking nuts when I realize its cause I was being stupid. Ever stepped on an ant colony? I feel like that now. Whatcha want me to do? Say sorry? As many times as you want. Grovel on the floor? For just about five minutes yeah. Wash your shoes? Uh, I'll try. Shit I don't even wash my own shoes but I'll wash yours. Run endlessly just cause you ask me to? Until I collapse yeah. Sing any song? Just about any Attempt to juggle glass plates while hopping around on a foot? As long as they are your glass plates yes. Eat a cockroach? Okay. Maybe not. But really. I'm sorry. Are you going to talk to me now. ): Sorry lah. Can? Labels: open letter, sanity |
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Long Live The King - @ 7:57 PM
What's that? We might be 5th after this week? This season has been an absolute crazy ride for any Liverpool fan, and that question is simply unbelievable, to think that we might end up in 5th place or even 4th at the end of the season after the disaster that was the first half of the EPL season.
I must say I had my doubts about Roy Hodgson from the beginning, I wasn't exactly very well informed but I knew that the season before, he was manager of Fulham. And I got a funny feeling after watching his interview on arriving at Anfield. By January, it was clear that my intuition had not been wrong in that instance, Roy Hodgson having led us in and out of the relegation zone, out of the League cup thanks to Northampton and had overseen debilitating losses to just about any club in the land. We were languishing in the lower half of the table and people predicted Liverpool FC to finish anywhere between 9th to 17th. They say its darkest before dawn, and this oddly beautiful cliche has never been truer. Out went Roy Hodgson and in came Kenny Dalglish. Suddenly the confidence was back. The passing game returned. The pressing. We looked like we could win again, and teams again began to fear instead of laughing when they heard that Liverpool was in town. Out went one phenomenal striker, in came two. In a flash, The King brought us back to life. We've beaten Manchester United, Chelsea, Manchester City and drew with Arsenal at the Emirates while missing the likes of Gerrard, Agger, Johnson and Kelly. That match alone showed what that one man had done to the team. Despite losing Johnson, Carragher and Carroll during the match itself, playing the youngsters Flanagan, Robinson and Jay Spearing, we came from behind and scored, salvaging the draw. Arguably the best team in the league now, we will hold our breath as we head into the final matches of the season, challenging for a European spot. Long Live the Legend. Long Live the King. Labels: soccer |
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Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? - @ 7:31 PM
Sometimes I really don't know whether to hate myself or not.
I don't know where I stand. For every single time that I make up my mind that I'm ultimately awesome, there is another time where I feel and seem to know without a doubt that I'm an absolutely terrible person. Truth, is all a matter of perspective, some would say, but surely there has to be an underlying truth isn't there? I wonder indeed. I don't know. I don't know myself anymore. I don't think I ever did. I got lost somewhere, in that landscape of ceaseless hiding, deceit, betrayal and lies. Every single aspect of myself, I've found myself questioning and there's almost nothing I know about myself for certain if anything at all. Then of course it wouldn't be reasonable for me to keep getting angry when people don't understand me would it..if I can't even understand myself. I'm a mess. Someone, anyone. Tell me who I am. |
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Stang. - Friday, April 29, 2011 @ 11:36 PM
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Pinball machine - @ 11:26 PM
I thought I was the crazy one. But you're the one zipping around, crashing off walls and getting flung into gravity wells. All of a sudden you hit the top and next you're trapped by a pulsar. Hey girl you gotta chill. Lax.
:/ Cause you gettin me more than a little bothered everytime you do that. And its a worried bothered not an irritated bothered. Know what I'm sayin? Well, take care in that bubble of yours. Not that I know how large it is or what goes on or in there. If something terrible happens and you start screaming I'll try not to dive in there unless I have your permission. Yeah... Labels: open letter |
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Just a cigarette gone - @ 10:47 PM
Just a cigarette gone no you couldn't be that far,
I'm driving my car to where I hope you are. Maybe I can talk you down. Standing on a tiny ledge, Before this goes over the edge Try to open up your eyes. This is relationship suicide. If You go, I go. ******************************************************* Labels: music |
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Three Three Three - @ 8:01 PM
Ah...the second of three consecutive long weekends.
Such a rare occurrence. Blighted only by the fact that I actually have to study. Oh well. |
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Ocean Of Oblivion - Thursday, April 28, 2011 @ 7:06 PM
Oh what did you say again?
I'm the last person to talk about civility? I wonder why. Is it because I'm the only person who dares to stand up to your bigotry? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Well I don't see anything wrong in speaking up for what I feel is right. If your ego is in the way thats not supposed to be my problem is it? Your lack of sensitivity and callousness is absolutely amazing, as well as your blinding confidence in yourself, I would say it borders on manic obsession. Well fine, I asked you to be just a teensy bit less rude and you fire that back at me. Thats okay, I just shut up and let your immaturity and misplaced pride and anger hang in the air. Didn't make me look stupid. Labels: open letter |
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I have issues with that girl - @ 6:49 PM
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- Wednesday, April 27, 2011 @ 8:03 PM
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Naming It. Her. - Tuesday, April 26, 2011 @ 10:25 PM
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Shutzpah. - @ 9:05 PM
ABC About You Questions.
A- Available: Very very available. B-Birthday: double five C-CRUSHING ON: Someone, who probably doesn't know. D-DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Ribena. E-EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Me? Sure, when I'm in a good mood. F-FAVOURITE SONG: Current moment- Talk You Down- The Script G-GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Gummy bears. H-HOMETOWN: Whats a hometown? Place of birth? Kuala Lumpur. I-IN LOVE WITH: uh, my ukelele that I've decided to name Chloe, okay I'll get back to you on that one. Chloe sounds wrong. J-JUGGLE: I juggle school work and my life. Yes, its not part of my life. K-KILLED SOMEONE: Oh the shards of my broken heart kill me everyday. L-LONGEST CAR RIDE: Singapore to Kuantan, and back. M-MILKSHAKE FLAVOUR: Schokolade, it sounds so killer in German. N-NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: Two O-ONE WISH: I wish for, a freaking successful music career. P-PERSON YOU LAST CALLED: Germaine. I was paranoid. No one was freaking THERE. R-REASON TO SMILE: She's alive. o: S-SONG YOU LAST SANG: Toxic - Britney Spears. T-TIME YOU WOKE UP: Today I woke up at 6, 610, 612, 315, 420. :D U-UNDERWEAR COLOUR: uh, classified? V-VEGETABLES:Potatoes. W-WORST HABIT: Uhhhh, uhhh, biting my nails? X- X-RAYS YOU HAD: Don't remember Y-YOYOS Z-ZODIAC SIGN(s happen to be arcane and against my religion.) RANDOM QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU: How f*cked up are you right now?: Not more than usual, which is very. Spell your name without vowels: NTHSNKNG o: Whats that look like to you? Nothings Sinking Lol. Your favorite number: Well theres always 5, then 3. What color do you wear most?: Black and red. Least favorite colors? Pale yellow. What are you listening to?: Nothing. Are you happy with your life right now?: No.... What is your favorite subject in school?: Lit! When do you start back at school: Tomorrow Are you outgoing?: At times very. Most of the time. no. Favorite pair of shoes?: Soccer boots. Can you dance?: Not to save anyone's life. Sorry. Can you sing?: Oh, haha. Uhhhhh.... Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: .___. Can you whistle?: Yeahhhhh Cross your eyes?: Unfortunately no. Walk with your toes curled?: I just walk? THE DO'S Do you believe there is life on other planets?: uh, no Do you believe in miracles?: Yeah! Do you believe in magic?: Magical moments! Love at first sight?: Perhaps! Do you believe in Satan?: He's real. Urgh. Do you believe in Santa?: YES, I TOTALLY SAW HIM CLIMB DOWN MY CHIMNEY LAST CHRISTMAS Do you like roller coasters?: YEAHH Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: If I had to..not for the cash...unless it was really a lot of it.... Have you ever been on a plane?: Yeah Have you ever asked someone out?: Well...kinda Have you ever been asked out by someone?: I wish Have you ever been to the ocean?: Yes THE WHATS Who was the last person you took a picture of?Danny O'Donoghue! Script Concert Who did you last webcam with?: Who webcams! Who was the last person you said I love you to?: Don't...know... CRYING SECTION Ever really cried your heart out?: Too many times Ever cried yourself to sleep?: Once or twice Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: No Ever cried over the opposite sex?: No... Do you cry when you get an injury?: Once. Do certain songs make you cry?: Yes, at times HAPPY SECTION Are you a happy person?: Maybe I was, once. CURRENTLY WEARING What is your current hair color?: Black What shirt are you wearing?: A shirt that I will never wear outside my home Pants?: 3-quarters Shoes?: Not at all Necklaces?: .__. IN A BOY/GIRL Favorite eye color: Uh, no biggie? Height: Well, its a matter of whether she's okay with my height. :/ HAVE YOU EVER Been to jail: I'm GUILLTYYY OF LOVE IN THE FIRST DEGREE. Mooned someone: No Laughed so hard you cried: Yeahh Cried in school: Once. All the things I wish I never did anyway. Wanted to be a model: Uh. Done something really stupid that you still laugh about: I don't laugh, I just cringe. Seen a dead body: two times - Two times too many. Been on drugs: Anaesthetic? Gone skinny dipping: Hahahahahha. No. THIS OR THAT Pepsi or Coke: Coke Single or Group Dates: HELL YEAH ONE ON ONE. Chocolate or vanilla: SCHOKOLADE. Strawberries or Blueberries: Blueberries. Meat or Veggies: MEAT. MEAT SALADMEATSALADMEATSALAD. TV or Movie: Tv! Guitar or Drums: Oh oh oh how to choose! Adidas or Nike: I've been known to sport an Adidas T-shirt, reebok shoes and Nike Bag, with weird yonex shorts. In other words. I don't care. Chinese or Mexican: BURRITOOOOOO BISONNNNN. Uh its a flash game. CHINESE. Labels: quiz |
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+.+ = I'm kinda freaking brain dead now (thus the eyes) - @ 8:41 PM
2.4 is a killer. Screw that random ERP gantry thing. My school is so rich its disgusting.
Luckily, after damaging my brain and ability to think rationally for the rest of the day, it was prize-giving ceremony and not lessons. Heck. Might as well start a narrative. Its more interesting that way don't you think. *************************************' He stared straight ahead. Well not really, but he might as well have been, he just inclined his head a little upwards cause he didn't want to stare at the back of head of the person right in front of him. It was a bushy head of hair, and filled with unspeakable horrors, not the type of things you want to stare at. He watched the proceedings with mild interest. Okay, faked mild interest. He honestly didn't care for anything at the moment. But yet he was there, cause he was forced to. Two hour ceremonies always tended to be tedious, and this was no exception. He clapped because everyone was doing so, and because he was supposed to and too polite to not....and found his arms growing tired, so he let them flop lifelessly to his side. He was tired. But also uncomfortable. His legs, he could feel them withering away from the lack of circulation. In an ultimate gesture of defiance, he brought them up to cross them. They didn't move. He frowned and tried again, his leg moved up an inch, and then hit the floor again. Disturbing, he wasn't that tired, was he? He gritted his teeth and with a herculean effort, his body protesting all the way, he lifted his right leg the mighty distance from floor to left thigh and let it rest there. Triumphant, he resumed his rest. Uh-oh, his right leg slid a little down his thigh, his pants were made of a weird material, and all slidy. He had forgotten about that, he pushed his right leg back up, but it didn't stay for long. He pushed. It slid. He pushed. It slid. He pushed. It slid. He let it slide. It slid some more. And a little more. And onto the floor. Urgh he thought. This was going to be a bad day. Labels: stories |
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One Way Traffic on a Two Way Highway - @ 5:21 PM
Perhaps I'm falling in love with my own voice.
Pure narcissism, I have to stop. But if I'm not going to love myself, who is? :D ********************************************* I'm finding myself asleep at random points throughout the day more and more. Perhaps I've been staying a little too late. Waste less time I should. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. ******************************************** Of late, bus rides have become oddly less enjoyable. I keep thinking that maybe they would be more enjoyable if I had someone beside me. Sigh. Labels: fragments |
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But who would write a song for you - Monday, April 25, 2011 @ 7:06 PM
8:14 and I find myself chewing on a pen, staring blankly at my com screen.
I have a wonderful life. When I make it wonderful. Heh. ********************************************************** Should I eat the chocolate? No. But it looks so good. No. I shall keep away from it as long as it is out of reach. Good. Just a little closer. No. Damn. ********************************************************* "blitzkrieg of stupid" This phrase is awesome in so many different ways. I shall attempt to be more inventive in my word choices. Labels: fragments |
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Ticking Time Bomb - Sunday, April 24, 2011 @ 9:16 PM
Why is it that when you need someone to talk to.
Or to just lift your smile. Maybe ease the throbbing pain inside your skull. And soothe your airways with their voices, or with their words. At least nothing screwed up is happening now. Aside from that energy sapping affliction. But what if? Then what. No one's going to carry your load. Going to hold you when you fall. Why? Partly cause you're half demented with paranoia and type out ridiculously emo posts like this. But also maybe because there's something wrong with you. Somewhere.
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Dreaming of Halo - @ 5:37 PM
Arsenal.
I thought you were going to finish above chelsea. What in the world happened. I want my Xbox 360. Labels: soccer |
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Found. I Found It. - Saturday, April 23, 2011 @ 9:39 PM
I first heard her voice in Haagen-Daz. While eating ice cream, celebrating our SYF results. And by an extreme stroke of luck I found the recording.
Her voice! They're from the Philippines. They're called MYMP. It stands for Make Your Momma Proud. Uh seriously. Takes the shine off a little. But they still sound super great. Labels: music |
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Wakisashi - @ 7:12 PM
He was....there. He just was. It was a meeting of great importance. Global importance. The cameras flashing, the reporters chattering, waving their boom mikes around in the air like protest signs, surrounding the stage and the huge screen on it. A piece of Japanese calligraphy was projected on the red background of the screen. The crowd waited in anticipation, as the frail old man, walked up to the rostrum, and gathered his notes.
The old man spoke in a quick staccato, his voice booming across the cavernous red room as the cameras increased their intensity. But suddenly, it happened. A rumble of fear surged through the crowd. Bad news. Assassination, all costs, Japanese farmers, kill, get out, run, protect. The panic was rising, and a sense of imminence was in the air. Imminence, but of what? He did not know, he did not want to know. The old man kept speaking throughout the commotion, louder and louder, almost shouting above the noise. And the cameras, kept flashing, the boom mikes, almost frantic in their trashing above the heads of the people. Kill, Assassination, now, guards, doom. The whispers were frantic cries now, they had to leave, He knew he had to leave. Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run He burst out through the large wooden doors as the assassins among the throng of people outside the room burst into action. They all held a small curved Japanese dagger. A wakisashi, they pointed their blades at various guards, and with a push of a button, unexpectedly shot their weapons out of their scabbards with a hiss of compressed air , the shards of metal burying themselves in human flesh. This was a war zone, he thought, what on earth.... panic struck him and then he froze in the spot as a one of the assassins blazed past him, cold determination on his face, it was his...classmate? There was no way he would.. he would be killed by the UN guards. Just then a Japanese UN guard jumped into his friends way. No, he wanted to shout, but he didn't. Either that or he did, but no one heard him, over the chaos and shrieking. He didn't know. The Japanese guard struck, flowing like blinding water. Slash. Parry. Slash. Block. Slash. His heart stopped as the short blade found its way past the empty scabbard that his friend had held out in defense, effortlessly driving its way through his neck. It was a perfect cut, aligned to his shoulders, and he could only watch as the head separated from the shoulders, sailing through the air. He would have vomited as the head landed less than a metre to his left, if not for the fact that his eyes were still riveted on his friend's killer. He expected to be next, but realized belatedly that the guard would not harm him. His relief lasted for a second till he saw a foreign fear enter the eyes of the Japanese warrior. The white-robed samurai immediately moving to his side, as if to protect him as the battle raged around them. Looming over him, a shining picture of death. A dark shape flashed past, and the clash of steel rang out as he sought out his guardian's assailant with his eyes. Another flash and a dark red stripe appeared on the guard's arms. Another flash and it was gone. The arm. It was gone. He got up and spun around as the guard dropped lifelessly to the floor with the next flash. The assassin stood before him swathed in black robes, wakisashi raised, and attacked. This was it, but couldn't move, he would have cried if there was time. The dagger flashed in towards his neck. Lord Jesus, save- He woke up. His room. Nothing. He thanked God he was alive and stared out into the night, a pale bead of sweat working its way down the side of his head. |
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Glimmer in the clouds? - Friday, April 22, 2011 @ 10:47 PM
"My heart would break"
Coming from someone who guards her words very carefully. That was something refreshing. And telling. I always knew that one was vulnerable on the inside. Ooh, nice. Labels: fragments |
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You're not as ugly as you think you are - @ 10:42 PM
Can't believe I actually said that.
Good job Ian, you are such a comfort to people. You didn't mean it that way, and she said she didn't mind. But who knows? It probably hit a nerve somewhere. Even if it didn't, you were damn lucky, you would've taken offense at that. Even if you didn't take offense, you would be hurt. So damn hurt. Another reason for her to run away from you and keep you at arms length. Whats wrong with you. Can't everything that passes through your mouth at least spend some time in that brain of yours that you cherish and think so highly of. Yeah you're sensitive alright. Only when other people get to you. Your sensitivity seems to turn itself off when it gets to others. I wonder why. Selfish, egotistic , insensitive, hypocritical piece of shit. |
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Not Really The Softest Touch - Thursday, April 21, 2011 @ 6:07 PM
Ahh, yes, exercising feels good.
After you're done with it. ************************************************************************ Kick Back to The Weekend! Waddaya know. Another week gone by. *********************************************************************** Shitz. Too wiped to think. I would say wasted but that implies drunkenness of some sort doesn't it? The Script are obsessed with alcohol. Delayed realization. Or maybe its just their frontman. I should've guessed from their songs. Apparently getting drunk is a way to forget your troubles. Heck they even wrote an entire song about calling people on their mobile phones when they were drunk. They love alcohol, they drank a glass on stage each midway through the show cause Danny O'donoghue felt like it. So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, that they were selling two things outside the concert when I went to check for merchandise. Tickets and beer. You should've seen the size of the beer containers. :/ Labels: fragments |
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Unnecessary Dilemma - Wednesday, April 20, 2011 @ 7:30 PM
Should I? Should I not?
When in doubt apologize? H: Over our dead dignity. So much ambiguity. So much scorn. H: I was right. Perhaps not. H: No, I definitely was right. Doesn't matter who's right though. H: It matters if the other person's being an utter twat. We're right on this anyway. Yeah H: So screw it. But we might'nt be right. And perhaps, we should be more accommodating. H: Like I said, over my dead dignity. Heck, that person's worth it anyway. H:.......Fine. Labels: don't back down, feelings, Hanzo |
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Tear Away My Chains - Tuesday, April 19, 2011 @ 10:16 PM
Somehow days don't exist anymore. They're just flashes, breaks. Daily short interludes of sunlight to contrast from the silence of the night.
I like this silence. It doesn't bring fear with it. Somehow. This quietness right here. The soft humming of the wildlife, and the crickets. I can smell the grass in the air. The soft subtle scent of wetness, and more. I smell green, literally. Its wonderful. The keyboard is liberating. I can say so many things. Create new visions. Play with words like I can't even in my mind. Life is slow. This is how it should be. Savour every moment, cherish every breath. Yes, this is it. Not that nonsense I go through when the sun breaks. That whirl of noise action breathlessness frustration emotion and ceaseless chatter. People chatter away, like squirrels. They don't realise that the more they speak the more pathetic it gets. It becomes a hum eventually. And this hum that is associated with my day, fades out of my life like the hum of a fridge. The hum of my fridge serves as a reminder of the day every night. Thats how it should be, at the back of my mind, easily ignored. Inconsequential, shallow memories. Pointless interaction, rigid coarse conversation. And they say I'm wasting my time here. Really, I don't think so. Labels: feelings, my weird opinion |
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Nascent Insecurity? - @ 5:59 PM
I had a very weird dream today.
I was with the people from RP, Jonathan and Shrey actually, just them and we had to perform a weird script. Well we had to read it, and perform at the same time. In weird weird conditions. Like in a candlelit environment with people scrutinising us. Or more like some highly skilled actor watching us with his companions. Start, stop, start stop. I think it went on for a few days.. I was the only one stumbling at my lines, my eyes never seeming to continue where they left off. And I could sense their disapproval. I fumbled some more and whence my co-actor had finished his lengthy monologue, I stood and spoke with conviction, determined to prove myself, but something was wrong. A huge murmur arose from the audience and I nearly stopped right there. Even my drama teacher who was in the audience whispered a dammit to herself, despite being the only one untroubled by my earlier mistakes. I awoke, sweating, and realized it was 6:50 My day had begun. Labels: dreams |
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Don't lose yourself - Monday, April 18, 2011 @ 11:59 PM
Hey you, don't stress yourself. Come unwind a little.
Just a little! ********************************************** I just received a blast of alt/rock music today. Hooray. I realized that fearless plays out like the perfect alt rock track. Except that it makes you happy. Goodness. Enjoy the sad music btw. Its so indulgent. Labels: fragments, open letter |
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Still bothered. - @ 6:29 PM
I can't believe how my entire mood can be affected by those three people.
I shouldn't have spent the whole day in an emo rut. I'm useless. Just completely useless. I would leave them. But I can't. Cause thats how damn bloody useless I am. They don't need me. Not one of them. But I find myself hinged on every word, everything said, everything unsaid. And worrying, that they'll realise they don't need me and cast me away. Perhaps it would be better that way. Its selfish to keep hanging on. Better to suffer me, than to suffer them. No, this is pointless, I'll never do it anyway. Self-improve... it can only get so far. How more do you think you can go? Its a long way still. They don't need you. They don't need your crap. You aren't that important to them anyway. Get a life. But I can't. This is it.
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Standoff - Sunday, April 17, 2011 @ 9:51 PM
He stared at the doorknob. It was perfectly fine. He didn't have to jiggle it about like a maniac like he did before.
It had started a month ago. When his cousin had gotten stuck. He just twisted the knob and it opened, but as time went by he realized that he had a problem. He could open it eventually but the thing is, it wasn't just any door. It was the door to the bathroom you see. Now while his cousin had gotten stuck inside the bathroom, things naturally became more complicated when you get stuck outside, as he was to find out on later occasions. It was fine when it refused to open for 10 seconds. But soon the 10 second delay became a 30 second one, then a 10 minute one. He could run over to the other toilets to use if he was urgent, but getting stuck inside a toilet for about half an hour sucks. So he called the repairman and gotten it fixed. So why did he have that odd feeling again? He had worked the knob a few times since the repairman had left already. He reached out and grasped the knob an- Fridge door it came right off in his hand. He stared at it, closed his eyes and threw back his head, in the classic supervillain pose. NOOOOoooooo! Labels: stories |
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Cause I'm perfectly shameless. - @ 5:23 PM
Welcome to post number 400.
This post will be so meaningful, it contains nothing but blogthings quizzes. Of course naturally with another one of my (I like to believe) quirky intros. With commentary. Lets give a round of applause for Ian the:
YAY. Horse. Hmm, I like this definition of meself.
As can be seen, I am now a glorious crustacean. Hmmm, I try not to fight anything. Right.
ALRIGHT YOU SEE GIRLS? I'M RARE DAMMIT. NOW COME TO ME. Uh, see post title.
Right. Beware of me, I may PENETRATE YOUR SOUL. MUAHAHAHAHA Perhaps I should start getting high more often. It seems fun. I mean. HELL YEAH.
Hmmm, mastered the art of forgiveness. The gift of forgetting is a strong one with me, true forgiveness, not really. heh. TAKE THAT ALL YOU HATERZZZ Okay, so I'm a little love obsessed
There you go, what type of crappy christmas gift I am.
Oh dammit, this is pure nonsense. I am not that obsessed.
This doesn't mean anything. It doesn't. I swear.
50%? Are you kidding me? Get realll....
And by fully agreeing with that pile of rubbish. I conclude the shameless 400th post. Arriba!!
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Time flies, but you're the pilot - @ 3:28 PM
You are a mystery you. If only I could actually figure you out.
**************************************************************** Zzt, that smile she gave me, I could have just kept looking at it forever. However I graciously opted to look away and only slightly acknowledge her, lest my mouth opened and I my eyes take on a glazed look. Not very cool an open mouth is, especially when combined with a glassy stare. ************************************************************************** Alas I am but a slave. Helplessly whirling around, tossed by the vicissitudes of fate. Am I truly the captain of my fate and the master of my soul? Nonsense, but neither do I have no ability to forge my path. Yes, the current is strong, but I can swim yet. I'll show you. I'll swim. And if I drown, may you bury me with a rose on my chest. Why? Because I say so. Uh. No thats just creepy. Forget the rose. Just make sure I'm wearing something decent. Yeahhh.... Labels: fragments |
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You did it again - @ 2:39 PM
You and your dumb mouth.
Shut it. Shut it. Shut it. All my resolutions are for nothing. What did you say. Speak less, guard your loose tongue. Choose your words wisely. What on earth happened to that. You see. Its cost you so much you moron but you still have the gall to forget about it. Speak less. It irritates people, you sham of a human being. Excessive means nothing to you does it. Do you really need people to tell you to shut up before you realize that you say too much. People are too kind. But you know what they think. Stop hurting people. Stop it. You disgust me. Dumb little Ian. Labels: myself |
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Whither my soul - Saturday, April 16, 2011 @ 10:35 PM
There's only so much abrasiveness I can take lah.
Oblige me a little more can? Just a little bit. Please? I'm asking...begging you. Aye, solitude makes a fool out of you. When you forget how you're supposed to go about life normally. And suddenly you're back. Is it really just me. I don't know. Help.. Labels: confused, open letter, sanity |
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Tchhhhhhh - @ 8:56 PM
My memory is slipping again. Its such a chronic problem.
Its not just homework now, but other things, things that I really care about. Its completely ridiculous. I remember there was one week that I texted her. Then I planned to text her next week. But that day came and passed, and I forgot. In the end, I didn't text her again. Useless piece of crap. You see for some people there is this time of the week where you can sms them. If you miss it, you have to wait one more week. And if you forget the week after that. Then too bad. Then the week after that it can get too awkward. And thats exactly what happened. Like how I forgot his birthday, then only remembered 2 days later but didn't sms him cause it was TOO AWKWARD. I was planning to tell him in person anyway. I'm not that socially retarded. But he just didn't come.... One day I'm going to lose a friend because of this. If I haven't already have. Labels: bad memory, myself |
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Four Stringed Heaven - Friday, April 15, 2011 @ 11:49 PM
Oh oh, the wonder of the ukelele.
Perhaps I could really get good with this. I should make a proper effort. Its sounds so awesome. Don't you make that $60 count for nothing you distracted lazy person. And perhaps I shall move on to guitar once I'm done with it. Its so much cooler anyway. In a weird way. A very interesting someone once said that "girls dig ukeleles" I'll take that advice. Heehee.
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Danny O'donoghue and Taylor Swift - Thursday, April 14, 2011 @ 6:41 PM
Look what I found while randomly searching up pics of The Script online.
I assure you in no way did I enter the words Taylor Swift into the search bar. Maybe Taylor Swift is a fan of the Script. Heh. At least this means they don't hate each other. Right? Labels: random, random pic |
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Before the Worst - Wednesday, April 13, 2011 @ 11:04 PM
On the 12th of April 2011, an Irish alt/rock trio came to Fort Canning Park and with songs of Dublin city, lost hope,fading and unfading love, gave a bunch of Singaporeans the time of their lives. The sky had no stars in it as the band referenced the constellations, the field was muddy, and the rain kept pouring on.But something was very very special that night. They called themselves The Script, and as the crowd sang along to them in mysteriously perfect key, and not a single stray note everyone there realized they had come across something truly magical and wonderful. They were absolutely enthralling from the beginning, the only notes of dissent coming from the crowd were when the DJ played perhaps one song too many before the Irish came on stage. When drummer Glen Power abandoned his drum set and came up to harmonize during the three guitar acoustic they played and as the crowd accompanied them, the atmosphere was absolutely electric as a few thousand people came together and united their hearts and minds with a single piece of music. The songs were songs, lyrical genius engineered by Danny O'donoghue and Mark Sheehan.But the beauty of it was how they recreated the recordings live. With so much more heart. In the end, recordings are dead, but with crooner Danny among the crowd and letting his soul flow with it, the music was definitely richer. Deserving Grammy award winners for live performances most definitely. With only one backing member to help them produce the powerful soul-stirring music, The Script are really as complete as a trio can get. It was awesome. Absoutely brilliantly awesome. Labels: music |
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Quit pushing your luck Punk. - Monday, April 11, 2011 @ 9:15 PM
Stop it.
Its not about you. I can't take this insensitivity and selfishness and I won't stand for it. I'm too tired out, by you to elaborate. There's nothing more to be said. Dammit Labels: open letter |
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To be misunderstood and reviled by someone you revere is a terrible thing. - @ 2:50 PM
Really, it hurts.
Its not a sense of injustice. Its there because I bothered someone. Even I didn't mean to. Its probably my fault somewhere along the way. I suppose in a way. This is love too huh? Don't know.... We'll see . When you place someone and the value of his or her life above your own. Its part of it. Love doesn't last forever. Unconditional love does. Its just a matter of distinction. Enough said. Urgh. Labels: fragments |
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Full-On Thunderstorm - Sunday, April 10, 2011 @ 6:12 PM
Thunderstorm oh thunderstorm, how loud thou thunder art.
For it is written that it is better to be hot or cold than to be lukewarm is it not? That statement, I shall adopt as the principle behind my intensity. Lovely indeed. Better to be drownd'ed or well than to be half-drownded and in a state of intense pain. :/ Labels: my weird opinion |
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Names ? - @ 1:17 PM
I wonder what name I would have if I were female.
It would have to be odd in some way. It couldn't be something like Alison. As much as I like that name, seriously you can literally HEAR the long flowing hair from that name. The grace and elegance and the uh swirliness. or Swirlyness. Whatever. No, it can't be an anagram of my name. For obvious reasons. uhhhh. A female version of my name would be uh. Like. Ionna (eye-oh-na) Ianna, Ianthe, Ione , and other generally unpronounceable monstrosities. But anyway. Lets pick a female name for me. Hmmmmmm Ivana! ( Yeah, it sounds too attractive for me.) Too Russian dammit. Evangeline - :/ its too gorgeous as well. I need to start looking at less flattering names Siobhan (sheh-vahn) LOL Kathryn- Sounds a little matronly. Idk Mikayla. Forget it. Bjork - I kid you not this is a female name in Denmark, it means birch. Cool and feminine? Yeah right. Tristin- Is this even female, dammit. Charlotte- Hey this sounds pretty cute. Okay damn, am I pretty cute? No. Chloe- Sounds pretty chic. Heck, I'm sticking to Charlotte. YEAH CHARLOTTE. Okay, I'm nuts. |
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Smilez - Saturday, April 9, 2011 @ 9:07 PM
I'll hold you through the night until you smile.
Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile. You've got a smile that could light up this whole town. A smile that takes me to another planet. Your sweet smile. Everytime you smile. I smile. My eyes light up when you do. When you smile that beautiful smile, all of them. They scream your name. If not I'll just have to fake a smile so you won't see. |
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Stained Glass Window - @ 8:57 PM
I thought I told myself not to not do something if it was awkward.
Especially if it might potentially help someone. I mean, worst case scenario it ends up awkward for the both of us. And I get potentially horribly horribly embarrassed. But hey, compare that to that person feeling like complete shit and possibly getting depressed and stuff. Its no big deal really. I'm already half-shameless already, might as well go all out and help people while I'm doing it right? D'arvit. It wasn't my fault. Was it? How much do I blame myself, how much am I at fault. To find the elusive line between guilt and self-doubt. That is what I have to do for now.
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Spring Heeled Leap - Friday, April 8, 2011 @ 9:25 PM
Many thanks all around to everyone involved in RP SYF 2011 The full euphoria has yet to sink in. Just just now I was in my room and I looked in the mirror and said to myself. We made it, and I started jumping around. Where we are at right now, is utter insanity. I think what we have all achieved over the past few weeks has been nothing short of pure awesomeness incarnate. Shrey, Jonathan and Jovi, you all can be absolute bomb actors on your day. Any one of you are good enough to star in a play by yourself and pull the entire thing. It has been an absolute honour co-acting with the three of you. It was really really fantastic that we all managed to put in great performances on thursday. Shrey, our dear chairman, many thanks for shouldering the burden. Its a responsibility that frankly, I wouldn't really want to take up. Thank you for doing your duty with enthusiasm and with kindness and consideration. Thank you for always putting yourself in the middle, and trying to be the ultimate pacifist. And though you don't always succeed, I see your effort, and it is very much appreciated. Jonathan oh Jonathan, my poor burdened friend of old. How your back has been bent. I thank you for being able to be here for us, despite all your other commitments. I thank you for your passion. I thank you for being there. I thank you for not giving up. I thank you for taking on a role that you weren't exactly comfortable in and it was fantasticulous that you managed to pull it off so well. Keep fighting bro. Keep fighting. Jovi, our little ball of energy. You are obnoxious, loud and shameless. Obnoxiously shamelessly loud, obnoxiously shameless and loudly obnoxious. You are the living embodiment of all of my guilty pleasures. Don't ever change to be something else. You are sunshine. Don't give a damn bout your bad reputation. Shadman, you have been another genuine ray of sunshine. Your soft enthusiasm and touch has been very much appreciated and noticed in the mind of this social deviant. Your graciousness in going from holding a starting role to one of an eventual understudy has been understated. You have done so much nonsense, like painting the chairs and helping us do the lights and sounds also! Its ridiculous. Your presence would definitely have been missed. Thank you. Bradley, I thank you for your efforts. All the effort that you put into Red, a character that drained the hell out of me in the beginning. I thank you for doing so despite your relative inexperience really. I thank you for supporting us in the end when you were dropped and sticking through it all. Naowed. You have been a constant pain in the ass and a timely one at that. You proved your worth when you kept on defusing tension over and over and over again at stressful periods. Your stone faced self-deprecating and weird actions and remarks were so stupid that we all laughed. Thank you! Gary, our dear super sm. You have put up with so much shit it is unbelievable. Although you didn't really have THAT much to do within your role of SM. You did so much more. And all the stupid things like hanging up our clothes for us and all of that. really, just Unbelievable with a freaking capital U. I just violated the rules of english for you. thank you. Soham. You popped up just when we needed you. Thanks to you and to Rafi, for both coordinating the sounds and lights flawlessly. Thank you for your conceptualization and help with the lighting. Thank you for being there, when I needed someone gullible to poke at. I feel guilty for doing so somehow, most possibly because people do that to me a lot. I can see why now, its fun. XD Ms Ng, thank you for your help with the dance thingum! And for adding your own special being to this production. Thank you for trying your best despite your own inexperience and for doing well at it. Your experience in dance and insistence of stretching and stuff has helped. I think. Well what else can I say, welcome to Raffles Players. Ms Sara. There has been so much stress that you have been shouldering as the overall Teacher in charge. As the director your vision and ideas as to where the play was going was essential and needless to say we couldn't have done it without you. Without your insight and hard work, we wouldn't be anywhere. Perhaps you have no formal theatre credentials but you have definitely taught us all so much and helped all of us to take our characters and the play to a whole new level. There is so much more to thank you for, but this shall have to do! Thanks also to Mr Chow, who helped us a lot in terms of direction of the play and characterization as well, Zhi Yuan, for coming back and helping us to steer us through the final few weeks and getting the RJ RP to watch and support us. Aliff Amirul Shawn Terry and Zaki for coming back and helping and giving comments. The rest of the RJ players who watched and gave suggestions. The teachers who gave us suggestions and anyone else who made this not so shiny Gold With Honours certificate possible. heh. THANK YOU ALL. Labels: RP |
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Your heartbeat, it took away the fear - @ 6:21 PM
Its done.
Its over. Gold. With. Honours. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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And she stepped in - Wednesday, April 6, 2011 @ 8:53 PM
She resembled.. a goldfish.
Yes really, a goldfish. Her eyes for one, not that they were large and googly, but that they were cold, dead and unseeing. Very unsettling. Her skin was pale, and unnaturally so, so much that it seemed slimy with water. Her mouth large and gaping, pouty lips, as if trying to suck in more water to breathe. Her hair was what might be called long and flowy on a good day, but today it was like a dorsal fin of a goldfish out of water, covering her face in a rather unflattering manner. So she stepped into class after standing outside for about 10 minutes talking on her phone. Just when they thought it was going to be a free period too. Disaster, for there was supposedly a test in this period of time. And the class drew a breath. He heard his classmate next to him draw a sharper one and he turned to look. "Fucking hell its Tabitha Lee" he muttered. Such language was the norm in this institution, unperturbed he asked nonchalantly what was the problem. "She's a bitch thats what", his classmate replied with more venom than was customary. He raised an eyebrow. Then she spoke, it sounded like she was trying to force gravel down her throat. Or up it. She was tortured, and seemed as if each effort might kill her. It was not a pretty voice. Not a pretty face either but that wasn't the issue. She began to lecture. " I will have order in this class is that clear? There shall be no objections and none of you is to make any noise or I will send you out." She let that hang in the air for a while. " Any objections?" The boisterous students in the class stopped. All bluster, but no balls really, no one said anything. "You have 40 minutes to do this 55 minute test, any objections?" " Bu-" "Your time starts now, hurry up." A string of under the breath swearing instantly ensued, but the students did not riot. 40 minutes later when Typhoon Tabitha had left the room, the fallout ensued. Flung pens and papers lay scattered about the floor as the students began gossiping and passing snide remarks about this new entity in their lives. Everyone was complaining about the test, she had been wasting our test time outside class talking on the phone! She was such a bitch! She was as ugly as the rear end of a cricket! In truth though, it was because of the morbidly difficult nature of the question. But to heck with it, anything to get a second shot. On a side note, she was a bitch. Labels: stories |
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Violence is not the Jedi Way - Tuesday, April 5, 2011 @ 8:07 PM
Sympathize with sneezing people more.
Say God bless you, because they need it. Give them tissues, because it possibly makes them feel less like crap. Don't joke about how disgusting it is, unless you think it will make them smile. If they look bleary eyed, don't say so, unless you add "you poor thing" after that and mean it. Cos otherwise they ginna glare at you. And then they ginna smack you so hard. Either that, or they might just feel like sneezing in your face, and "react too slowly". Get mah drift. D'arvit.
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Take this - Monday, April 4, 2011 @ 11:08 PM
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So I was like, um yeah, and then it was like, uh, totally - @ 8:39 PM
He looked up to the night sky as he forced his feet to walk. I mean he couldn't just stand there. That would be ridiculous. He was tired, he didn't feel like walking, but he kinda had to get home so he could lie around somewhere.
His legs ignoring the logic, continued to hurt as he dragged them up that slope. Ah, relaxing. He forced himself to think as he walked. Just then the familiar strains of When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne began to filter in, courtesy of his earphones. He looked up again and thought he saw a star. In the midst of the never sleeping city, and the bright lights and cars, he truly believed he saw a star. I always needed time on my own, I never thought I'd need you there when I cry . Oh he loved this song, his right hand automatically playing the piano keys on his thigh. His left hand thrummed too. Things were going well, slow down a little, he thought to himself. And the days feel like years when I'm alone And the bed where you lie is made up on your side The guitar, he should learn how to play the guitar properly. One day he would. He breathed in deeply, the grass smelled good at night, just slightly damp, but not damp enough to produce the smell of soil. Yes, there definitely were stars tonight. When you walk away I count the steps that you take Can't you see how much I need you right now The closest pedestrian was a good 20 metres ahead. There was no one behind him, he smiled to himself as he belted out in perfect harmony to Avril Lavigne. When You're Gone The lanky figure in front turned his head around. Uh-oh. Labels: stories |
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8 seconds left in overtime - Sunday, April 3, 2011 @ 9:04 PM
Sometimes the solitude really gets to me.
I wonder if I'm really still alone or not. Hours and hours just here by myself without anyone else. Its debilitating. I think. I really could use somebody. You know what I mean? If only to ease the loneliness. Then when one of you comes in its like a ray of light. Blowing away the clouds of gloom, like that electric guitar chord crashing through the silence of the break. Refreshing intensity. And I grab hold of it with all that I am and don't want to let go. Cause every single time its just me and the silence again. And the silence just grows louder and louder. The keys on the laptop, I can hear them at times like this. I type in a rhythm, a set rhythm, so that in the end it sounds perfectly normal. Not like what it is, disjointed spurts of hopeful inspiration desperately trying to break the monotony of insanity. Silent discordant insanity. There is light, but it is dark. I have the world at my fingertips, but not the people I want. What use is hours and hours of humour, videos and inspiration. If you have not a single person to talk to. You can gaze upon the universe in all of its fullness. Own everything, experience wealth, power, fame, and glory. Whats the point if you have to face all of that alone. It isn't worth anything. And thats why when I sit here all by myself, its just sobering. "The quiet scares me cause it screams the truth" 12 word story attempt: A lone scream shatters the solace of the night. Run my dearest. Run Labels: myself, open letter |
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"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubblegum." - @ 6:37 PM
I love screwball quotes like that.
Partly because they sound half-retarded. But also because they sound so undeniably badass. Haha I just imagined some old Texan with a shotgun chewing bubblegum as he said that. And spitting out the bubblegum just before he said the second half of the phrase. Watching his enemies recoil in horror as the bubblegum landed with a squelch on the floor before he made his compelling pronouncement of doom. Don't we all love shotguns. Yes we do. We love them very very much. Labels: my weird opinion |
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Take my piece of advice - @ 5:03 PM
The best sort of friends, tend to be a little odd.
Just saying. That was not self-affirmation, though come to think of it, it is pretty good self-affirmation. Ah, a self-affirmation of my self-affirmation. I'm getting weirder and weirder. That was lovely self-affirmation. "You know everytime you're in deep thought your face crinkles as if someone shoved a smelly sock right under your nose. Its adorable." I'm nuts. Labels: my weird opinion |
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Expectant Reality - @ 3:40 PM
Ah, I never thought I would end up right here. Life is but a dream. *********************************************** Someone yesterday asked a question (not to me, because I mean who would want to know) about which 3 qualities of himself a person would put on a dating site. Well I thought it was quite funny, since he had to say all his three qualities with a straight face. (and honestly, I didn't care what the qualities were, I just thought it was hilarious that he had to say it) Hmmm. Not that any of you would want to know. But lets see if I can write a compelling write up of myself. Perhaps one of you might even be convinced. Name : Ian is all you need to know for now. Its the internet dammit. Alright, so where do I start. I'm a quirky zany little oddball with a vocabulary that most people cannot stand. So I'm probably not one of those "normal people". People have called me good looking before but I'm quite sure even more would beg to differ, so I suppose its up to you to decide on that. I'm freaky in that I'm more than a little emotional, as well as random and loud. In fact, I'm randomly loud as well. I, unfortunately in addition to being socially awkward and highly neurotic, am also shameless and obnoxious enough to have a checklist of the type of girl I like. Yes, a checklist, so don't bother contacting me unless you find yourself filling a lot of the checks on the list. Its okay if you miss out like 2 or 3, we can work on those later. If you just snorted at the idea of a checklist then congratulations, thats the first criteria. 1. Unafraid in the face of obnoxiousness, the ability to snort at ridiculous notions.(also known as "independent" as undefined as that term is) 2. An ability to talk for long periods of time, a disposition to talking. (Energetic) 3. Sensitive to my sensitivities (obliging, when I need it) 4. Ability to be brutally honest (In other words, knowing exactly when to tell me to shut up and stop being irritating) 5. Can tolerate incessant singing (more for your sanity than mine) 6. Your friends would describe you as slightly insane. (weird works too) 7. Possesses "randomness" There is unfortunately an eight criteria and its looks. You have to be good-looking. No way around that. Then again, its up to me to decide that, so if you're smoking hot but I don't think so, then too bad. Its works the other way too. |
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Eh. Potato Wot? - Friday, April 1, 2011 @ 10:52 PM
Oh if I could tell her
Yes perhaps I should I would do my best to give her Everything I could Her hair is like spaghetti, Long yet so tasty Such beauty in one person Perhaps I should not be so hasty I would buy her some flowers If only I had hands And I have raised myself upon this platform Lest I be buried in the sand Would she look down upon my body With its dark brown and formless shape Its round yet distorted Not perfect like a grape My skin is not smooth, like a rich person's daughter its dotted with black spots And gets wrinkly with water True love knows no boundaries That is what they all say But the truth is there is a limit Thats why I am alone till this day It is too much to ask of love Too much it is so For love is destined to never happen between human and potato For were she to walk, She would have to carry me And read books to me to listen Since I have no eyes to see So I sit on this bench Alone in my solitude Perhaps it would be better If I were a fruit? ****************************************************************** Uh, don't ask |
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Lazy Friday - @ 9:08 PM
April Fools Day.
I didn't realize until someone pulled a dumb prank on me involving unhappy smiley faces. I don't like unhappy smiley faces. Especially if they're for nothing. I think the best prank you can pull is a counter prank, because it makes everything oh so epic. Hmm, like if someone puts stuff into your drink and waits for you to drink it and they start laughing. You know that prank right? The trick is to notice and look for that kiddish expectant reaction in their faces. Then pretend nothings wrong, start drinking and pretend to choke. Highly effective Labels: my weird opinion, random |
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Come Out of The Shadows - @ 7:09 PM
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Disaster - @ 6:08 PM
If Rebecca Black can be defended by certain players in the music industry then it is a black black day for music indeed. No pun intended.
For some reason, the ahem negative response from Friday has triggered in her an innate desire to produce an album. Even Miley Cyrus, who released the questionable single Party in the USA last year saw fit to take a dig at her and really, I think she has the right to criticize her too. It perhaps takes a lot to let a video go viral. But certainly it takes a lot to make a song go viral because of its inherent badness. When ever Justin Bieber(baby, baby, baby oh, baby, baby, baby no,) posts things like "sunday comes after saturday? weird." on his twitter feed, you know there's something up with your music material and its not good. I mean seriously, its not like its something that the common folk can truly get.A columnist from Billboard wrote that "Black's video for 'Friday', is one of those rare occurences where even the most seasoned critics of Internet Culture don't know where to begin." And that "'Friday' is something that must simply be seen and heard to be fully appreciated" Yes, she has her defenders. A certain Simon Cowell for one. Totally unbelievable, also who else? Chris Brown. Heh. I think it reflects more on Chris Brown and his music as well as Simon Cowell's knack for drawing publicity. It still galls me to think that she's writing an entire album now. Her next planned single? LOL Seriously. Its called "LOL" in caps. I don't know what it sounds like, and I don't want to know. Is Friday going to be on the album? You bet it is, she is shameless about the song and didn't even want to take it down when Ark Music Entertainment offered to. Does she have supportive parents? Sure, I mean who paid for AME to record and release the song in the first place? I think this is a signal and a sign of the end of times. Should her album sell any more than a thousand copies, okay, um ten thousand copies, I suggest that we all quit school and sit at home and study the Bible, its a clear sign that the world has gone insane, so insane that God probably sees us fit for destruction. Dammit, I don't the world to end before I grow taller than 165 at least. Labels: bad music, music, my weird opinion, rant |
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Puppet on a string - Saturday, April 30, 2011 @ 10:48 PM
Oh you got me. Like this. Just hanging on a string. You can twist, jerk, pull, drop it. And I'll go flying whichever way you want me to. Helpless, hopelessly and stupidly playable.
Don't you notice how I go crazy when you're not around? How I go crazier when you seem to be ignoring me? How I go even crazier when its possibly cause you're pissed at me and how I go freaking nuts when I realize its cause I was being stupid. Ever stepped on an ant colony? I feel like that now. Whatcha want me to do? Say sorry? As many times as you want. Grovel on the floor? For just about five minutes yeah. Wash your shoes? Uh, I'll try. Shit I don't even wash my own shoes but I'll wash yours. Run endlessly just cause you ask me to? Until I collapse yeah. Sing any song? Just about any Attempt to juggle glass plates while hopping around on a foot? As long as they are your glass plates yes. Eat a cockroach? Okay. Maybe not. But really. I'm sorry. Are you going to talk to me now. ): Sorry lah. Can? Labels: open letter, sanity |
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Long Live The King - @ 7:57 PM
What's that? We might be 5th after this week? This season has been an absolute crazy ride for any Liverpool fan, and that question is simply unbelievable, to think that we might end up in 5th place or even 4th at the end of the season after the disaster that was the first half of the EPL season.
I must say I had my doubts about Roy Hodgson from the beginning, I wasn't exactly very well informed but I knew that the season before, he was manager of Fulham. And I got a funny feeling after watching his interview on arriving at Anfield. By January, it was clear that my intuition had not been wrong in that instance, Roy Hodgson having led us in and out of the relegation zone, out of the League cup thanks to Northampton and had overseen debilitating losses to just about any club in the land. We were languishing in the lower half of the table and people predicted Liverpool FC to finish anywhere between 9th to 17th. They say its darkest before dawn, and this oddly beautiful cliche has never been truer. Out went Roy Hodgson and in came Kenny Dalglish. Suddenly the confidence was back. The passing game returned. The pressing. We looked like we could win again, and teams again began to fear instead of laughing when they heard that Liverpool was in town. Out went one phenomenal striker, in came two. In a flash, The King brought us back to life. We've beaten Manchester United, Chelsea, Manchester City and drew with Arsenal at the Emirates while missing the likes of Gerrard, Agger, Johnson and Kelly. That match alone showed what that one man had done to the team. Despite losing Johnson, Carragher and Carroll during the match itself, playing the youngsters Flanagan, Robinson and Jay Spearing, we came from behind and scored, salvaging the draw. Arguably the best team in the league now, we will hold our breath as we head into the final matches of the season, challenging for a European spot. Long Live the Legend. Long Live the King. Labels: soccer |
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Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? - @ 7:31 PM
Sometimes I really don't know whether to hate myself or not.
I don't know where I stand. For every single time that I make up my mind that I'm ultimately awesome, there is another time where I feel and seem to know without a doubt that I'm an absolutely terrible person. Truth, is all a matter of perspective, some would say, but surely there has to be an underlying truth isn't there? I wonder indeed. I don't know. I don't know myself anymore. I don't think I ever did. I got lost somewhere, in that landscape of ceaseless hiding, deceit, betrayal and lies. Every single aspect of myself, I've found myself questioning and there's almost nothing I know about myself for certain if anything at all. Then of course it wouldn't be reasonable for me to keep getting angry when people don't understand me would it..if I can't even understand myself. I'm a mess. Someone, anyone. Tell me who I am. |
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Stang. - Friday, April 29, 2011 @ 11:36 PM
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Pinball machine - @ 11:26 PM
I thought I was the crazy one. But you're the one zipping around, crashing off walls and getting flung into gravity wells. All of a sudden you hit the top and next you're trapped by a pulsar. Hey girl you gotta chill. Lax.
:/ Cause you gettin me more than a little bothered everytime you do that. And its a worried bothered not an irritated bothered. Know what I'm sayin? Well, take care in that bubble of yours. Not that I know how large it is or what goes on or in there. If something terrible happens and you start screaming I'll try not to dive in there unless I have your permission. Yeah... Labels: open letter |
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Just a cigarette gone - @ 10:47 PM
Just a cigarette gone no you couldn't be that far,
I'm driving my car to where I hope you are. Maybe I can talk you down. Standing on a tiny ledge, Before this goes over the edge Try to open up your eyes. This is relationship suicide. If You go, I go. ******************************************************* Labels: music |
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Three Three Three - @ 8:01 PM
Ah...the second of three consecutive long weekends.
Such a rare occurrence. Blighted only by the fact that I actually have to study. Oh well. |
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Ocean Of Oblivion - Thursday, April 28, 2011 @ 7:06 PM
Oh what did you say again?
I'm the last person to talk about civility? I wonder why. Is it because I'm the only person who dares to stand up to your bigotry? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Well I don't see anything wrong in speaking up for what I feel is right. If your ego is in the way thats not supposed to be my problem is it? Your lack of sensitivity and callousness is absolutely amazing, as well as your blinding confidence in yourself, I would say it borders on manic obsession. Well fine, I asked you to be just a teensy bit less rude and you fire that back at me. Thats okay, I just shut up and let your immaturity and misplaced pride and anger hang in the air. Didn't make me look stupid. Labels: open letter |
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I have issues with that girl - @ 6:49 PM
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- Wednesday, April 27, 2011 @ 8:03 PM
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Naming It. Her. - Tuesday, April 26, 2011 @ 10:25 PM
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Shutzpah. - @ 9:05 PM
ABC About You Questions.
A- Available: Very very available. B-Birthday: double five C-CRUSHING ON: Someone, who probably doesn't know. D-DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Ribena. E-EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Me? Sure, when I'm in a good mood. F-FAVOURITE SONG: Current moment- Talk You Down- The Script G-GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Gummy bears. H-HOMETOWN: Whats a hometown? Place of birth? Kuala Lumpur. I-IN LOVE WITH: uh, my ukelele that I've decided to name Chloe, okay I'll get back to you on that one. Chloe sounds wrong. J-JUGGLE: I juggle school work and my life. Yes, its not part of my life. K-KILLED SOMEONE: Oh the shards of my broken heart kill me everyday. L-LONGEST CAR RIDE: Singapore to Kuantan, and back. M-MILKSHAKE FLAVOUR: Schokolade, it sounds so killer in German. N-NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: Two O-ONE WISH: I wish for, a freaking successful music career. P-PERSON YOU LAST CALLED: Germaine. I was paranoid. No one was freaking THERE. R-REASON TO SMILE: She's alive. o: S-SONG YOU LAST SANG: Toxic - Britney Spears. T-TIME YOU WOKE UP: Today I woke up at 6, 610, 612, 315, 420. :D U-UNDERWEAR COLOUR: uh, classified? V-VEGETABLES:Potatoes. W-WORST HABIT: Uhhhh, uhhh, biting my nails? X- X-RAYS YOU HAD: Don't remember Y-YOYOS Z-ZODIAC SIGN(s happen to be arcane and against my religion.) RANDOM QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU: How f*cked up are you right now?: Not more than usual, which is very. Spell your name without vowels: NTHSNKNG o: Whats that look like to you? Nothings Sinking Lol. Your favorite number: Well theres always 5, then 3. What color do you wear most?: Black and red. Least favorite colors? Pale yellow. What are you listening to?: Nothing. Are you happy with your life right now?: No.... What is your favorite subject in school?: Lit! When do you start back at school: Tomorrow Are you outgoing?: At times very. Most of the time. no. Favorite pair of shoes?: Soccer boots. Can you dance?: Not to save anyone's life. Sorry. Can you sing?: Oh, haha. Uhhhhh.... Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: .___. Can you whistle?: Yeahhhhh Cross your eyes?: Unfortunately no. Walk with your toes curled?: I just walk? THE DO'S Do you believe there is life on other planets?: uh, no Do you believe in miracles?: Yeah! Do you believe in magic?: Magical moments! Love at first sight?: Perhaps! Do you believe in Satan?: He's real. Urgh. Do you believe in Santa?: YES, I TOTALLY SAW HIM CLIMB DOWN MY CHIMNEY LAST CHRISTMAS Do you like roller coasters?: YEAHH Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: If I had to..not for the cash...unless it was really a lot of it.... Have you ever been on a plane?: Yeah Have you ever asked someone out?: Well...kinda Have you ever been asked out by someone?: I wish Have you ever been to the ocean?: Yes THE WHATS Who was the last person you took a picture of?Danny O'Donoghue! Script Concert Who did you last webcam with?: Who webcams! Who was the last person you said I love you to?: Don't...know... CRYING SECTION Ever really cried your heart out?: Too many times Ever cried yourself to sleep?: Once or twice Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: No Ever cried over the opposite sex?: No... Do you cry when you get an injury?: Once. Do certain songs make you cry?: Yes, at times HAPPY SECTION Are you a happy person?: Maybe I was, once. CURRENTLY WEARING What is your current hair color?: Black What shirt are you wearing?: A shirt that I will never wear outside my home Pants?: 3-quarters Shoes?: Not at all Necklaces?: .__. IN A BOY/GIRL Favorite eye color: Uh, no biggie? Height: Well, its a matter of whether she's okay with my height. :/ HAVE YOU EVER Been to jail: I'm GUILLTYYY OF LOVE IN THE FIRST DEGREE. Mooned someone: No Laughed so hard you cried: Yeahh Cried in school: Once. All the things I wish I never did anyway. Wanted to be a model: Uh. Done something really stupid that you still laugh about: I don't laugh, I just cringe. Seen a dead body: two times - Two times too many. Been on drugs: Anaesthetic? Gone skinny dipping: Hahahahahha. No. THIS OR THAT Pepsi or Coke: Coke Single or Group Dates: HELL YEAH ONE ON ONE. Chocolate or vanilla: SCHOKOLADE. Strawberries or Blueberries: Blueberries. Meat or Veggies: MEAT. MEAT SALADMEATSALADMEATSALAD. TV or Movie: Tv! Guitar or Drums: Oh oh oh how to choose! Adidas or Nike: I've been known to sport an Adidas T-shirt, reebok shoes and Nike Bag, with weird yonex shorts. In other words. I don't care. Chinese or Mexican: BURRITOOOOOO BISONNNNN. Uh its a flash game. CHINESE. Labels: quiz |
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+.+ = I'm kinda freaking brain dead now (thus the eyes) - @ 8:41 PM
2.4 is a killer. Screw that random ERP gantry thing. My school is so rich its disgusting.
Luckily, after damaging my brain and ability to think rationally for the rest of the day, it was prize-giving ceremony and not lessons. Heck. Might as well start a narrative. Its more interesting that way don't you think. *************************************' He stared straight ahead. Well not really, but he might as well have been, he just inclined his head a little upwards cause he didn't want to stare at the back of head of the person right in front of him. It was a bushy head of hair, and filled with unspeakable horrors, not the type of things you want to stare at. He watched the proceedings with mild interest. Okay, faked mild interest. He honestly didn't care for anything at the moment. But yet he was there, cause he was forced to. Two hour ceremonies always tended to be tedious, and this was no exception. He clapped because everyone was doing so, and because he was supposed to and too polite to not....and found his arms growing tired, so he let them flop lifelessly to his side. He was tired. But also uncomfortable. His legs, he could feel them withering away from the lack of circulation. In an ultimate gesture of defiance, he brought them up to cross them. They didn't move. He frowned and tried again, his leg moved up an inch, and then hit the floor again. Disturbing, he wasn't that tired, was he? He gritted his teeth and with a herculean effort, his body protesting all the way, he lifted his right leg the mighty distance from floor to left thigh and let it rest there. Triumphant, he resumed his rest. Uh-oh, his right leg slid a little down his thigh, his pants were made of a weird material, and all slidy. He had forgotten about that, he pushed his right leg back up, but it didn't stay for long. He pushed. It slid. He pushed. It slid. He pushed. It slid. He let it slide. It slid some more. And a little more. And onto the floor. Urgh he thought. This was going to be a bad day. Labels: stories |
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One Way Traffic on a Two Way Highway - @ 5:21 PM
Perhaps I'm falling in love with my own voice.
Pure narcissism, I have to stop. But if I'm not going to love myself, who is? :D ********************************************* I'm finding myself asleep at random points throughout the day more and more. Perhaps I've been staying a little too late. Waste less time I should. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. ******************************************** Of late, bus rides have become oddly less enjoyable. I keep thinking that maybe they would be more enjoyable if I had someone beside me. Sigh. Labels: fragments |
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But who would write a song for you - Monday, April 25, 2011 @ 7:06 PM
8:14 and I find myself chewing on a pen, staring blankly at my com screen.
I have a wonderful life. When I make it wonderful. Heh. ********************************************************** Should I eat the chocolate? No. But it looks so good. No. I shall keep away from it as long as it is out of reach. Good. Just a little closer. No. Damn. ********************************************************* "blitzkrieg of stupid" This phrase is awesome in so many different ways. I shall attempt to be more inventive in my word choices. Labels: fragments |
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Ticking Time Bomb - Sunday, April 24, 2011 @ 9:16 PM
Why is it that when you need someone to talk to.
Or to just lift your smile. Maybe ease the throbbing pain inside your skull. And soothe your airways with their voices, or with their words. At least nothing screwed up is happening now. Aside from that energy sapping affliction. But what if? Then what. No one's going to carry your load. Going to hold you when you fall. Why? Partly cause you're half demented with paranoia and type out ridiculously emo posts like this. But also maybe because there's something wrong with you. Somewhere.
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Dreaming of Halo - @ 5:37 PM
Arsenal.
I thought you were going to finish above chelsea. What in the world happened. I want my Xbox 360. Labels: soccer |
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Found. I Found It. - Saturday, April 23, 2011 @ 9:39 PM
I first heard her voice in Haagen-Daz. While eating ice cream, celebrating our SYF results. And by an extreme stroke of luck I found the recording.
Her voice! They're from the Philippines. They're called MYMP. It stands for Make Your Momma Proud. Uh seriously. Takes the shine off a little. But they still sound super great. Labels: music |
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Wakisashi - @ 7:12 PM
He was....there. He just was. It was a meeting of great importance. Global importance. The cameras flashing, the reporters chattering, waving their boom mikes around in the air like protest signs, surrounding the stage and the huge screen on it. A piece of Japanese calligraphy was projected on the red background of the screen. The crowd waited in anticipation, as the frail old man, walked up to the rostrum, and gathered his notes.
The old man spoke in a quick staccato, his voice booming across the cavernous red room as the cameras increased their intensity. But suddenly, it happened. A rumble of fear surged through the crowd. Bad news. Assassination, all costs, Japanese farmers, kill, get out, run, protect. The panic was rising, and a sense of imminence was in the air. Imminence, but of what? He did not know, he did not want to know. The old man kept speaking throughout the commotion, louder and louder, almost shouting above the noise. And the cameras, kept flashing, the boom mikes, almost frantic in their trashing above the heads of the people. Kill, Assassination, now, guards, doom. The whispers were frantic cries now, they had to leave, He knew he had to leave. Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run He burst out through the large wooden doors as the assassins among the throng of people outside the room burst into action. They all held a small curved Japanese dagger. A wakisashi, they pointed their blades at various guards, and with a push of a button, unexpectedly shot their weapons out of their scabbards with a hiss of compressed air , the shards of metal burying themselves in human flesh. This was a war zone, he thought, what on earth.... panic struck him and then he froze in the spot as a one of the assassins blazed past him, cold determination on his face, it was his...classmate? There was no way he would.. he would be killed by the UN guards. Just then a Japanese UN guard jumped into his friends way. No, he wanted to shout, but he didn't. Either that or he did, but no one heard him, over the chaos and shrieking. He didn't know. The Japanese guard struck, flowing like blinding water. Slash. Parry. Slash. Block. Slash. His heart stopped as the short blade found its way past the empty scabbard that his friend had held out in defense, effortlessly driving its way through his neck. It was a perfect cut, aligned to his shoulders, and he could only watch as the head separated from the shoulders, sailing through the air. He would have vomited as the head landed less than a metre to his left, if not for the fact that his eyes were still riveted on his friend's killer. He expected to be next, but realized belatedly that the guard would not harm him. His relief lasted for a second till he saw a foreign fear enter the eyes of the Japanese warrior. The white-robed samurai immediately moving to his side, as if to protect him as the battle raged around them. Looming over him, a shining picture of death. A dark shape flashed past, and the clash of steel rang out as he sought out his guardian's assailant with his eyes. Another flash and a dark red stripe appeared on the guard's arms. Another flash and it was gone. The arm. It was gone. He got up and spun around as the guard dropped lifelessly to the floor with the next flash. The assassin stood before him swathed in black robes, wakisashi raised, and attacked. This was it, but couldn't move, he would have cried if there was time. The dagger flashed in towards his neck. Lord Jesus, save- He woke up. His room. Nothing. He thanked God he was alive and stared out into the night, a pale bead of sweat working its way down the side of his head. |
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Glimmer in the clouds? - Friday, April 22, 2011 @ 10:47 PM
"My heart would break"
Coming from someone who guards her words very carefully. That was something refreshing. And telling. I always knew that one was vulnerable on the inside. Ooh, nice. Labels: fragments |
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You're not as ugly as you think you are - @ 10:42 PM
Can't believe I actually said that.
Good job Ian, you are such a comfort to people. You didn't mean it that way, and she said she didn't mind. But who knows? It probably hit a nerve somewhere. Even if it didn't, you were damn lucky, you would've taken offense at that. Even if you didn't take offense, you would be hurt. So damn hurt. Another reason for her to run away from you and keep you at arms length. Whats wrong with you. Can't everything that passes through your mouth at least spend some time in that brain of yours that you cherish and think so highly of. Yeah you're sensitive alright. Only when other people get to you. Your sensitivity seems to turn itself off when it gets to others. I wonder why. Selfish, egotistic , insensitive, hypocritical piece of shit. |
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Not Really The Softest Touch - Thursday, April 21, 2011 @ 6:07 PM
Ahh, yes, exercising feels good.
After you're done with it. ************************************************************************ Kick Back to The Weekend! Waddaya know. Another week gone by. *********************************************************************** Shitz. Too wiped to think. I would say wasted but that implies drunkenness of some sort doesn't it? The Script are obsessed with alcohol. Delayed realization. Or maybe its just their frontman. I should've guessed from their songs. Apparently getting drunk is a way to forget your troubles. Heck they even wrote an entire song about calling people on their mobile phones when they were drunk. They love alcohol, they drank a glass on stage each midway through the show cause Danny O'donoghue felt like it. So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, that they were selling two things outside the concert when I went to check for merchandise. Tickets and beer. You should've seen the size of the beer containers. :/ Labels: fragments |
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Unnecessary Dilemma - Wednesday, April 20, 2011 @ 7:30 PM
Should I? Should I not?
When in doubt apologize? H: Over our dead dignity. So much ambiguity. So much scorn. H: I was right. Perhaps not. H: No, I definitely was right. Doesn't matter who's right though. H: It matters if the other person's being an utter twat. We're right on this anyway. Yeah H: So screw it. But we might'nt be right. And perhaps, we should be more accommodating. H: Like I said, over my dead dignity. Heck, that person's worth it anyway. H:.......Fine. Labels: don't back down, feelings, Hanzo |
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Tear Away My Chains - Tuesday, April 19, 2011 @ 10:16 PM
Somehow days don't exist anymore. They're just flashes, breaks. Daily short interludes of sunlight to contrast from the silence of the night.
I like this silence. It doesn't bring fear with it. Somehow. This quietness right here. The soft humming of the wildlife, and the crickets. I can smell the grass in the air. The soft subtle scent of wetness, and more. I smell green, literally. Its wonderful. The keyboard is liberating. I can say so many things. Create new visions. Play with words like I can't even in my mind. Life is slow. This is how it should be. Savour every moment, cherish every breath. Yes, this is it. Not that nonsense I go through when the sun breaks. That whirl of noise action breathlessness frustration emotion and ceaseless chatter. People chatter away, like squirrels. They don't realise that the more they speak the more pathetic it gets. It becomes a hum eventually. And this hum that is associated with my day, fades out of my life like the hum of a fridge. The hum of my fridge serves as a reminder of the day every night. Thats how it should be, at the back of my mind, easily ignored. Inconsequential, shallow memories. Pointless interaction, rigid coarse conversation. And they say I'm wasting my time here. Really, I don't think so. Labels: feelings, my weird opinion |
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Nascent Insecurity? - @ 5:59 PM
I had a very weird dream today.
I was with the people from RP, Jonathan and Shrey actually, just them and we had to perform a weird script. Well we had to read it, and perform at the same time. In weird weird conditions. Like in a candlelit environment with people scrutinising us. Or more like some highly skilled actor watching us with his companions. Start, stop, start stop. I think it went on for a few days.. I was the only one stumbling at my lines, my eyes never seeming to continue where they left off. And I could sense their disapproval. I fumbled some more and whence my co-actor had finished his lengthy monologue, I stood and spoke with conviction, determined to prove myself, but something was wrong. A huge murmur arose from the audience and I nearly stopped right there. Even my drama teacher who was in the audience whispered a dammit to herself, despite being the only one untroubled by my earlier mistakes. I awoke, sweating, and realized it was 6:50 My day had begun. Labels: dreams |
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Don't lose yourself - Monday, April 18, 2011 @ 11:59 PM
Hey you, don't stress yourself. Come unwind a little.
Just a little! ********************************************** I just received a blast of alt/rock music today. Hooray. I realized that fearless plays out like the perfect alt rock track. Except that it makes you happy. Goodness. Enjoy the sad music btw. Its so indulgent. Labels: fragments, open letter |
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Still bothered. - @ 6:29 PM
I can't believe how my entire mood can be affected by those three people.
I shouldn't have spent the whole day in an emo rut. I'm useless. Just completely useless. I would leave them. But I can't. Cause thats how damn bloody useless I am. They don't need me. Not one of them. But I find myself hinged on every word, everything said, everything unsaid. And worrying, that they'll realise they don't need me and cast me away. Perhaps it would be better that way. Its selfish to keep hanging on. Better to suffer me, than to suffer them. No, this is pointless, I'll never do it anyway. Self-improve... it can only get so far. How more do you think you can go? Its a long way still. They don't need you. They don't need your crap. You aren't that important to them anyway. Get a life. But I can't. This is it.
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Standoff - Sunday, April 17, 2011 @ 9:51 PM
He stared at the doorknob. It was perfectly fine. He didn't have to jiggle it about like a maniac like he did before.
It had started a month ago. When his cousin had gotten stuck. He just twisted the knob and it opened, but as time went by he realized that he had a problem. He could open it eventually but the thing is, it wasn't just any door. It was the door to the bathroom you see. Now while his cousin had gotten stuck inside the bathroom, things naturally became more complicated when you get stuck outside, as he was to find out on later occasions. It was fine when it refused to open for 10 seconds. But soon the 10 second delay became a 30 second one, then a 10 minute one. He could run over to the other toilets to use if he was urgent, but getting stuck inside a toilet for about half an hour sucks. So he called the repairman and gotten it fixed. So why did he have that odd feeling again? He had worked the knob a few times since the repairman had left already. He reached out and grasped the knob an- Fridge door it came right off in his hand. He stared at it, closed his eyes and threw back his head, in the classic supervillain pose. NOOOOoooooo! Labels: stories |
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Cause I'm perfectly shameless. - @ 5:23 PM
Welcome to post number 400.
This post will be so meaningful, it contains nothing but blogthings quizzes. Of course naturally with another one of my (I like to believe) quirky intros. With commentary. Lets give a round of applause for Ian the:
YAY. Horse. Hmm, I like this definition of meself.
As can be seen, I am now a glorious crustacean. Hmmm, I try not to fight anything. Right.
ALRIGHT YOU SEE GIRLS? I'M RARE DAMMIT. NOW COME TO ME. Uh, see post title.
Right. Beware of me, I may PENETRATE YOUR SOUL. MUAHAHAHAHA Perhaps I should start getting high more often. It seems fun. I mean. HELL YEAH.
Hmmm, mastered the art of forgiveness. The gift of forgetting is a strong one with me, true forgiveness, not really. heh. TAKE THAT ALL YOU HATERZZZ Okay, so I'm a little love obsessed
There you go, what type of crappy christmas gift I am.
Oh dammit, this is pure nonsense. I am not that obsessed.
This doesn't mean anything. It doesn't. I swear.
50%? Are you kidding me? Get realll....
And by fully agreeing with that pile of rubbish. I conclude the shameless 400th post. Arriba!!
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Time flies, but you're the pilot - @ 3:28 PM
You are a mystery you. If only I could actually figure you out.
**************************************************************** Zzt, that smile she gave me, I could have just kept looking at it forever. However I graciously opted to look away and only slightly acknowledge her, lest my mouth opened and I my eyes take on a glazed look. Not very cool an open mouth is, especially when combined with a glassy stare. ************************************************************************** Alas I am but a slave. Helplessly whirling around, tossed by the vicissitudes of fate. Am I truly the captain of my fate and the master of my soul? Nonsense, but neither do I have no ability to forge my path. Yes, the current is strong, but I can swim yet. I'll show you. I'll swim. And if I drown, may you bury me with a rose on my chest. Why? Because I say so. Uh. No thats just creepy. Forget the rose. Just make sure I'm wearing something decent. Yeahhh.... Labels: fragments |
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You did it again - @ 2:39 PM
You and your dumb mouth.
Shut it. Shut it. Shut it. All my resolutions are for nothing. What did you say. Speak less, guard your loose tongue. Choose your words wisely. What on earth happened to that. You see. Its cost you so much you moron but you still have the gall to forget about it. Speak less. It irritates people, you sham of a human being. Excessive means nothing to you does it. Do you really need people to tell you to shut up before you realize that you say too much. People are too kind. But you know what they think. Stop hurting people. Stop it. You disgust me. Dumb little Ian. Labels: myself |
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Whither my soul - Saturday, April 16, 2011 @ 10:35 PM
There's only so much abrasiveness I can take lah.
Oblige me a little more can? Just a little bit. Please? I'm asking...begging you. Aye, solitude makes a fool out of you. When you forget how you're supposed to go about life normally. And suddenly you're back. Is it really just me. I don't know. Help.. Labels: confused, open letter, sanity |
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Tchhhhhhh - @ 8:56 PM
My memory is slipping again. Its such a chronic problem.
Its not just homework now, but other things, things that I really care about. Its completely ridiculous. I remember there was one week that I texted her. Then I planned to text her next week. But that day came and passed, and I forgot. In the end, I didn't text her again. Useless piece of crap. You see for some people there is this time of the week where you can sms them. If you miss it, you have to wait one more week. And if you forget the week after that. Then too bad. Then the week after that it can get too awkward. And thats exactly what happened. Like how I forgot his birthday, then only remembered 2 days later but didn't sms him cause it was TOO AWKWARD. I was planning to tell him in person anyway. I'm not that socially retarded. But he just didn't come.... One day I'm going to lose a friend because of this. If I haven't already have. Labels: bad memory, myself |
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Four Stringed Heaven - Friday, April 15, 2011 @ 11:49 PM
Oh oh, the wonder of the ukelele.
Perhaps I could really get good with this. I should make a proper effort. Its sounds so awesome. Don't you make that $60 count for nothing you distracted lazy person. And perhaps I shall move on to guitar once I'm done with it. Its so much cooler anyway. In a weird way. A very interesting someone once said that "girls dig ukeleles" I'll take that advice. Heehee.
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Danny O'donoghue and Taylor Swift - Thursday, April 14, 2011 @ 6:41 PM
Look what I found while randomly searching up pics of The Script online.
I assure you in no way did I enter the words Taylor Swift into the search bar. Maybe Taylor Swift is a fan of the Script. Heh. At least this means they don't hate each other. Right? Labels: random, random pic |
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Before the Worst - Wednesday, April 13, 2011 @ 11:04 PM
On the 12th of April 2011, an Irish alt/rock trio came to Fort Canning Park and with songs of Dublin city, lost hope,fading and unfading love, gave a bunch of Singaporeans the time of their lives. The sky had no stars in it as the band referenced the constellations, the field was muddy, and the rain kept pouring on.But something was very very special that night. They called themselves The Script, and as the crowd sang along to them in mysteriously perfect key, and not a single stray note everyone there realized they had come across something truly magical and wonderful. They were absolutely enthralling from the beginning, the only notes of dissent coming from the crowd were when the DJ played perhaps one song too many before the Irish came on stage. When drummer Glen Power abandoned his drum set and came up to harmonize during the three guitar acoustic they played and as the crowd accompanied them, the atmosphere was absolutely electric as a few thousand people came together and united their hearts and minds with a single piece of music. The songs were songs, lyrical genius engineered by Danny O'donoghue and Mark Sheehan.But the beauty of it was how they recreated the recordings live. With so much more heart. In the end, recordings are dead, but with crooner Danny among the crowd and letting his soul flow with it, the music was definitely richer. Deserving Grammy award winners for live performances most definitely. With only one backing member to help them produce the powerful soul-stirring music, The Script are really as complete as a trio can get. It was awesome. Absoutely brilliantly awesome. Labels: music |
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Quit pushing your luck Punk. - Monday, April 11, 2011 @ 9:15 PM
Stop it.
Its not about you. I can't take this insensitivity and selfishness and I won't stand for it. I'm too tired out, by you to elaborate. There's nothing more to be said. Dammit Labels: open letter |
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To be misunderstood and reviled by someone you revere is a terrible thing. - @ 2:50 PM
Really, it hurts.
Its not a sense of injustice. Its there because I bothered someone. Even I didn't mean to. Its probably my fault somewhere along the way. I suppose in a way. This is love too huh? Don't know.... We'll see . When you place someone and the value of his or her life above your own. Its part of it. Love doesn't last forever. Unconditional love does. Its just a matter of distinction. Enough said. Urgh. Labels: fragments |
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Full-On Thunderstorm - Sunday, April 10, 2011 @ 6:12 PM
Thunderstorm oh thunderstorm, how loud thou thunder art.
For it is written that it is better to be hot or cold than to be lukewarm is it not? That statement, I shall adopt as the principle behind my intensity. Lovely indeed. Better to be drownd'ed or well than to be half-drownded and in a state of intense pain. :/ Labels: my weird opinion |
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Names ? - @ 1:17 PM
I wonder what name I would have if I were female.
It would have to be odd in some way. It couldn't be something like Alison. As much as I like that name, seriously you can literally HEAR the long flowing hair from that name. The grace and elegance and the uh swirliness. or Swirlyness. Whatever. No, it can't be an anagram of my name. For obvious reasons. uhhhh. A female version of my name would be uh. Like. Ionna (eye-oh-na) Ianna, Ianthe, Ione , and other generally unpronounceable monstrosities. But anyway. Lets pick a female name for me. Hmmmmmm Ivana! ( Yeah, it sounds too attractive for me.) Too Russian dammit. Evangeline - :/ its too gorgeous as well. I need to start looking at less flattering names Siobhan (sheh-vahn) LOL Kathryn- Sounds a little matronly. Idk Mikayla. Forget it. Bjork - I kid you not this is a female name in Denmark, it means birch. Cool and feminine? Yeah right. Tristin- Is this even female, dammit. Charlotte- Hey this sounds pretty cute. Okay damn, am I pretty cute? No. Chloe- Sounds pretty chic. Heck, I'm sticking to Charlotte. YEAH CHARLOTTE. Okay, I'm nuts. |
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Smilez - Saturday, April 9, 2011 @ 9:07 PM
I'll hold you through the night until you smile.
Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile. You've got a smile that could light up this whole town. A smile that takes me to another planet. Your sweet smile. Everytime you smile. I smile. My eyes light up when you do. When you smile that beautiful smile, all of them. They scream your name. If not I'll just have to fake a smile so you won't see. |
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Stained Glass Window - @ 8:57 PM
I thought I told myself not to not do something if it was awkward.
Especially if it might potentially help someone. I mean, worst case scenario it ends up awkward for the both of us. And I get potentially horribly horribly embarrassed. But hey, compare that to that person feeling like complete shit and possibly getting depressed and stuff. Its no big deal really. I'm already half-shameless already, might as well go all out and help people while I'm doing it right? D'arvit. It wasn't my fault. Was it? How much do I blame myself, how much am I at fault. To find the elusive line between guilt and self-doubt. That is what I have to do for now.
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Spring Heeled Leap - Friday, April 8, 2011 @ 9:25 PM
Many thanks all around to everyone involved in RP SYF 2011 The full euphoria has yet to sink in. Just just now I was in my room and I looked in the mirror and said to myself. We made it, and I started jumping around. Where we are at right now, is utter insanity. I think what we have all achieved over the past few weeks has been nothing short of pure awesomeness incarnate. Shrey, Jonathan and Jovi, you all can be absolute bomb actors on your day. Any one of you are good enough to star in a play by yourself and pull the entire thing. It has been an absolute honour co-acting with the three of you. It was really really fantastic that we all managed to put in great performances on thursday. Shrey, our dear chairman, many thanks for shouldering the burden. Its a responsibility that frankly, I wouldn't really want to take up. Thank you for doing your duty with enthusiasm and with kindness and consideration. Thank you for always putting yourself in the middle, and trying to be the ultimate pacifist. And though you don't always succeed, I see your effort, and it is very much appreciated. Jonathan oh Jonathan, my poor burdened friend of old. How your back has been bent. I thank you for being able to be here for us, despite all your other commitments. I thank you for your passion. I thank you for being there. I thank you for not giving up. I thank you for taking on a role that you weren't exactly comfortable in and it was fantasticulous that you managed to pull it off so well. Keep fighting bro. Keep fighting. Jovi, our little ball of energy. You are obnoxious, loud and shameless. Obnoxiously shamelessly loud, obnoxiously shameless and loudly obnoxious. You are the living embodiment of all of my guilty pleasures. Don't ever change to be something else. You are sunshine. Don't give a damn bout your bad reputation. Shadman, you have been another genuine ray of sunshine. Your soft enthusiasm and touch has been very much appreciated and noticed in the mind of this social deviant. Your graciousness in going from holding a starting role to one of an eventual understudy has been understated. You have done so much nonsense, like painting the chairs and helping us do the lights and sounds also! Its ridiculous. Your presence would definitely have been missed. Thank you. Bradley, I thank you for your efforts. All the effort that you put into Red, a character that drained the hell out of me in the beginning. I thank you for doing so despite your relative inexperience really. I thank you for supporting us in the end when you were dropped and sticking through it all. Naowed. You have been a constant pain in the ass and a timely one at that. You proved your worth when you kept on defusing tension over and over and over again at stressful periods. Your stone faced self-deprecating and weird actions and remarks were so stupid that we all laughed. Thank you! Gary, our dear super sm. You have put up with so much shit it is unbelievable. Although you didn't really have THAT much to do within your role of SM. You did so much more. And all the stupid things like hanging up our clothes for us and all of that. really, just Unbelievable with a freaking capital U. I just violated the rules of english for you. thank you. Soham. You popped up just when we needed you. Thanks to you and to Rafi, for both coordinating the sounds and lights flawlessly. Thank you for your conceptualization and help with the lighting. Thank you for being there, when I needed someone gullible to poke at. I feel guilty for doing so somehow, most possibly because people do that to me a lot. I can see why now, its fun. XD Ms Ng, thank you for your help with the dance thingum! And for adding your own special being to this production. Thank you for trying your best despite your own inexperience and for doing well at it. Your experience in dance and insistence of stretching and stuff has helped. I think. Well what else can I say, welcome to Raffles Players. Ms Sara. There has been so much stress that you have been shouldering as the overall Teacher in charge. As the director your vision and ideas as to where the play was going was essential and needless to say we couldn't have done it without you. Without your insight and hard work, we wouldn't be anywhere. Perhaps you have no formal theatre credentials but you have definitely taught us all so much and helped all of us to take our characters and the play to a whole new level. There is so much more to thank you for, but this shall have to do! Thanks also to Mr Chow, who helped us a lot in terms of direction of the play and characterization as well, Zhi Yuan, for coming back and helping us to steer us through the final few weeks and getting the RJ RP to watch and support us. Aliff Amirul Shawn Terry and Zaki for coming back and helping and giving comments. The rest of the RJ players who watched and gave suggestions. The teachers who gave us suggestions and anyone else who made this not so shiny Gold With Honours certificate possible. heh. THANK YOU ALL. Labels: RP |
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Your heartbeat, it took away the fear - @ 6:21 PM
Its done.
Its over. Gold. With. Honours. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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And she stepped in - Wednesday, April 6, 2011 @ 8:53 PM
She resembled.. a goldfish.
Yes really, a goldfish. Her eyes for one, not that they were large and googly, but that they were cold, dead and unseeing. Very unsettling. Her skin was pale, and unnaturally so, so much that it seemed slimy with water. Her mouth large and gaping, pouty lips, as if trying to suck in more water to breathe. Her hair was what might be called long and flowy on a good day, but today it was like a dorsal fin of a goldfish out of water, covering her face in a rather unflattering manner. So she stepped into class after standing outside for about 10 minutes talking on her phone. Just when they thought it was going to be a free period too. Disaster, for there was supposedly a test in this period of time. And the class drew a breath. He heard his classmate next to him draw a sharper one and he turned to look. "Fucking hell its Tabitha Lee" he muttered. Such language was the norm in this institution, unperturbed he asked nonchalantly what was the problem. "She's a bitch thats what", his classmate replied with more venom than was customary. He raised an eyebrow. Then she spoke, it sounded like she was trying to force gravel down her throat. Or up it. She was tortured, and seemed as if each effort might kill her. It was not a pretty voice. Not a pretty face either but that wasn't the issue. She began to lecture. " I will have order in this class is that clear? There shall be no objections and none of you is to make any noise or I will send you out." She let that hang in the air for a while. " Any objections?" The boisterous students in the class stopped. All bluster, but no balls really, no one said anything. "You have 40 minutes to do this 55 minute test, any objections?" " Bu-" "Your time starts now, hurry up." A string of under the breath swearing instantly ensued, but the students did not riot. 40 minutes later when Typhoon Tabitha had left the room, the fallout ensued. Flung pens and papers lay scattered about the floor as the students began gossiping and passing snide remarks about this new entity in their lives. Everyone was complaining about the test, she had been wasting our test time outside class talking on the phone! She was such a bitch! She was as ugly as the rear end of a cricket! In truth though, it was because of the morbidly difficult nature of the question. But to heck with it, anything to get a second shot. On a side note, she was a bitch. Labels: stories |
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Violence is not the Jedi Way - Tuesday, April 5, 2011 @ 8:07 PM
Sympathize with sneezing people more.
Say God bless you, because they need it. Give them tissues, because it possibly makes them feel less like crap. Don't joke about how disgusting it is, unless you think it will make them smile. If they look bleary eyed, don't say so, unless you add "you poor thing" after that and mean it. Cos otherwise they ginna glare at you. And then they ginna smack you so hard. Either that, or they might just feel like sneezing in your face, and "react too slowly". Get mah drift. D'arvit.
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Take this - Monday, April 4, 2011 @ 11:08 PM
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So I was like, um yeah, and then it was like, uh, totally - @ 8:39 PM
He looked up to the night sky as he forced his feet to walk. I mean he couldn't just stand there. That would be ridiculous. He was tired, he didn't feel like walking, but he kinda had to get home so he could lie around somewhere.
His legs ignoring the logic, continued to hurt as he dragged them up that slope. Ah, relaxing. He forced himself to think as he walked. Just then the familiar strains of When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne began to filter in, courtesy of his earphones. He looked up again and thought he saw a star. In the midst of the never sleeping city, and the bright lights and cars, he truly believed he saw a star. I always needed time on my own, I never thought I'd need you there when I cry . Oh he loved this song, his right hand automatically playing the piano keys on his thigh. His left hand thrummed too. Things were going well, slow down a little, he thought to himself. And the days feel like years when I'm alone And the bed where you lie is made up on your side The guitar, he should learn how to play the guitar properly. One day he would. He breathed in deeply, the grass smelled good at night, just slightly damp, but not damp enough to produce the smell of soil. Yes, there definitely were stars tonight. When you walk away I count the steps that you take Can't you see how much I need you right now The closest pedestrian was a good 20 metres ahead. There was no one behind him, he smiled to himself as he belted out in perfect harmony to Avril Lavigne. When You're Gone The lanky figure in front turned his head around. Uh-oh. Labels: stories |
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8 seconds left in overtime - Sunday, April 3, 2011 @ 9:04 PM
Sometimes the solitude really gets to me.
I wonder if I'm really still alone or not. Hours and hours just here by myself without anyone else. Its debilitating. I think. I really could use somebody. You know what I mean? If only to ease the loneliness. Then when one of you comes in its like a ray of light. Blowing away the clouds of gloom, like that electric guitar chord crashing through the silence of the break. Refreshing intensity. And I grab hold of it with all that I am and don't want to let go. Cause every single time its just me and the silence again. And the silence just grows louder and louder. The keys on the laptop, I can hear them at times like this. I type in a rhythm, a set rhythm, so that in the end it sounds perfectly normal. Not like what it is, disjointed spurts of hopeful inspiration desperately trying to break the monotony of insanity. Silent discordant insanity. There is light, but it is dark. I have the world at my fingertips, but not the people I want. What use is hours and hours of humour, videos and inspiration. If you have not a single person to talk to. You can gaze upon the universe in all of its fullness. Own everything, experience wealth, power, fame, and glory. Whats the point if you have to face all of that alone. It isn't worth anything. And thats why when I sit here all by myself, its just sobering. "The quiet scares me cause it screams the truth" 12 word story attempt: A lone scream shatters the solace of the night. Run my dearest. Run Labels: myself, open letter |
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"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubblegum." - @ 6:37 PM
I love screwball quotes like that.
Partly because they sound half-retarded. But also because they sound so undeniably badass. Haha I just imagined some old Texan with a shotgun chewing bubblegum as he said that. And spitting out the bubblegum just before he said the second half of the phrase. Watching his enemies recoil in horror as the bubblegum landed with a squelch on the floor before he made his compelling pronouncement of doom. Don't we all love shotguns. Yes we do. We love them very very much. Labels: my weird opinion |
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Take my piece of advice - @ 5:03 PM
The best sort of friends, tend to be a little odd.
Just saying. That was not self-affirmation, though come to think of it, it is pretty good self-affirmation. Ah, a self-affirmation of my self-affirmation. I'm getting weirder and weirder. That was lovely self-affirmation. "You know everytime you're in deep thought your face crinkles as if someone shoved a smelly sock right under your nose. Its adorable." I'm nuts. Labels: my weird opinion |
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Expectant Reality - @ 3:40 PM
Ah, I never thought I would end up right here. Life is but a dream. *********************************************** Someone yesterday asked a question (not to me, because I mean who would want to know) about which 3 qualities of himself a person would put on a dating site. Well I thought it was quite funny, since he had to say all his three qualities with a straight face. (and honestly, I didn't care what the qualities were, I just thought it was hilarious that he had to say it) Hmmm. Not that any of you would want to know. But lets see if I can write a compelling write up of myself. Perhaps one of you might even be convinced. Name : Ian is all you need to know for now. Its the internet dammit. Alright, so where do I start. I'm a quirky zany little oddball with a vocabulary that most people cannot stand. So I'm probably not one of those "normal people". People have called me good looking before but I'm quite sure even more would beg to differ, so I suppose its up to you to decide on that. I'm freaky in that I'm more than a little emotional, as well as random and loud. In fact, I'm randomly loud as well. I, unfortunately in addition to being socially awkward and highly neurotic, am also shameless and obnoxious enough to have a checklist of the type of girl I like. Yes, a checklist, so don't bother contacting me unless you find yourself filling a lot of the checks on the list. Its okay if you miss out like 2 or 3, we can work on those later. If you just snorted at the idea of a checklist then congratulations, thats the first criteria. 1. Unafraid in the face of obnoxiousness, the ability to snort at ridiculous notions.(also known as "independent" as undefined as that term is) 2. An ability to talk for long periods of time, a disposition to talking. (Energetic) 3. Sensitive to my sensitivities (obliging, when I need it) 4. Ability to be brutally honest (In other words, knowing exactly when to tell me to shut up and stop being irritating) 5. Can tolerate incessant singing (more for your sanity than mine) 6. Your friends would describe you as slightly insane. (weird works too) 7. Possesses "randomness" There is unfortunately an eight criteria and its looks. You have to be good-looking. No way around that. Then again, its up to me to decide that, so if you're smoking hot but I don't think so, then too bad. Its works the other way too. |
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Eh. Potato Wot? - Friday, April 1, 2011 @ 10:52 PM
Oh if I could tell her
Yes perhaps I should I would do my best to give her Everything I could Her hair is like spaghetti, Long yet so tasty Such beauty in one person Perhaps I should not be so hasty I would buy her some flowers If only I had hands And I have raised myself upon this platform Lest I be buried in the sand Would she look down upon my body With its dark brown and formless shape Its round yet distorted Not perfect like a grape My skin is not smooth, like a rich person's daughter its dotted with black spots And gets wrinkly with water True love knows no boundaries That is what they all say But the truth is there is a limit Thats why I am alone till this day It is too much to ask of love Too much it is so For love is destined to never happen between human and potato For were she to walk, She would have to carry me And read books to me to listen Since I have no eyes to see So I sit on this bench Alone in my solitude Perhaps it would be better If I were a fruit? ****************************************************************** Uh, don't ask |
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Lazy Friday - @ 9:08 PM
April Fools Day.
I didn't realize until someone pulled a dumb prank on me involving unhappy smiley faces. I don't like unhappy smiley faces. Especially if they're for nothing. I think the best prank you can pull is a counter prank, because it makes everything oh so epic. Hmm, like if someone puts stuff into your drink and waits for you to drink it and they start laughing. You know that prank right? The trick is to notice and look for that kiddish expectant reaction in their faces. Then pretend nothings wrong, start drinking and pretend to choke. Highly effective Labels: my weird opinion, random |
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Come Out of The Shadows - @ 7:09 PM
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Disaster - @ 6:08 PM
If Rebecca Black can be defended by certain players in the music industry then it is a black black day for music indeed. No pun intended.
For some reason, the ahem negative response from Friday has triggered in her an innate desire to produce an album. Even Miley Cyrus, who released the questionable single Party in the USA last year saw fit to take a dig at her and really, I think she has the right to criticize her too. It perhaps takes a lot to let a video go viral. But certainly it takes a lot to make a song go viral because of its inherent badness. When ever Justin Bieber(baby, baby, baby oh, baby, baby, baby no,) posts things like "sunday comes after saturday? weird." on his twitter feed, you know there's something up with your music material and its not good. I mean seriously, its not like its something that the common folk can truly get.A columnist from Billboard wrote that "Black's video for 'Friday', is one of those rare occurences where even the most seasoned critics of Internet Culture don't know where to begin." And that "'Friday' is something that must simply be seen and heard to be fully appreciated" Yes, she has her defenders. A certain Simon Cowell for one. Totally unbelievable, also who else? Chris Brown. Heh. I think it reflects more on Chris Brown and his music as well as Simon Cowell's knack for drawing publicity. It still galls me to think that she's writing an entire album now. Her next planned single? LOL Seriously. Its called "LOL" in caps. I don't know what it sounds like, and I don't want to know. Is Friday going to be on the album? You bet it is, she is shameless about the song and didn't even want to take it down when Ark Music Entertainment offered to. Does she have supportive parents? Sure, I mean who paid for AME to record and release the song in the first place? I think this is a signal and a sign of the end of times. Should her album sell any more than a thousand copies, okay, um ten thousand copies, I suggest that we all quit school and sit at home and study the Bible, its a clear sign that the world has gone insane, so insane that God probably sees us fit for destruction. Dammit, I don't the world to end before I grow taller than 165 at least. Labels: bad music, music, my weird opinion, rant |
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Just another starstruck (see above for evidence*) wanderer trying to find his way in this horribly confusing and sometimes messed up world. This space as you might have realised is for my own venting. It's where I talk, to myself. To the universe. It's where I don't lie. Much. Chances are you won't get more truth out of me than these few billion pages of angst. My life isn't that bad. Sometimes. The good parts just usually end up being the blank dates in between the posts you see. So yes, just to practice my math and to cheer myself up a little, the number of posts is inversely proportional to my mental wellbeing. Yes that counts as math with me. And despite the wry smile on my face and the grin I can imagine on yours, I'm still rather sombre. I promise you I'm sunny somedays. Stick around. You never know what you may learn. *hint may or may not be in big black font at the top of the page.
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Previous Posts: No, I'm not back. ; Bursting Glowdrops ; Dreary Bits ; Dream Fairy ; Write me please ; Antigen Nose Hook ; Destiny Neck Scan ; I'll be okay ; My Rampant Oxen ; Assign and Eject ; Previous Months: November 1995 ; December 2009 ; January 2010 ; February 2010 ; March 2010 ; April 2010 ; May 2010 ; June 2010 ; July 2010 ; August 2010 ; September 2010 ; October 2010 ; November 2010 ; December 2010 ; January 2011 ; February 2011 ; March 2011 ; April 2011 ; May 2011 ; June 2011 ; July 2011 ; August 2011 ; September 2011 ; October 2011 ; November 2011 ; December 2011 ; January 2012 ; February 2012 ; March 2012 ; April 2012 ; May 2012 ; June 2012 ; July 2012 ; August 2012 ;
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