Feeling really down still.

Though Im smiling cause Im doing it again.

Cyberstalking.

You made it so easy Pat.

XD

Gasps, should I tell her? The blog seems kinda private, even though it is dead and public.

"um hi, sorry but I was stalking you online, I feel really guilty about it, so I'm apologizing."

Not a conversation you want to have.

Then obviously the other question would be uhh..do you still have a boyfriend?

No wait.

Stopppp.

Idiot.

Freak.

This inability to untype stuff here on the blog will be my doing.

Maybe there should be a limit to stuff like that. Cause absolutes really dont work.
I am gonna risk it all on the fact that a certain someone won't come here and connect the dots.
And that another certain someone won't bother to.

And that another certain someone won't come here.

And that yet another certain someone won't come here and freak out.

And that yet another certain someone won't read this and counsel me.

Cause thats what that yet another certain someone does.

Oh also that yet another crazy someone can actually keep a secret.

shit thats a lot of risks.

of course ummm 3 and 5 have a moderate probability of not coming true, but yes 5 is bad. 4 is really bad, but it is never going to happen. 1 is nearly as bad too, but there is only a slim chance.
6 is a disaster that will occur regardless of whether or not I publish this.

If the delete button and the publish button were closer I would actually be you know, swinging my cursor back and forth between them. But...

Gosh. this is really hard.

Close your eyes.