Give me the strength to say what I have to say.
It's always so impossible for me at times like this. Steel my heart and let me be the cold fiery warrior I so often pretend to be.
Don't let me break down, as I always do, because there is no point. The tears that will fall will mean nothing at all to him. He has to listen this time. I am weak Lord Father, but you are strong, strengthen my resolve, and let not my heart make me weak.
Guide me, and help me to say everything that I have to say, because no one else is going to say it. Sometimes we have to fight for our sanity. Perhaps I have to fight this time. I don't know Lord if I should, but this feeling inside of me can't be so wrong can it?
Someone has to make a stand. You can't just keep waiting for someone else to. There comes a point where there isn't a somebody else.
You will help, you will make a stand for us, but how? I wonder if maybe you could use me. I really don't know Lord. Please I'm begging you, I can't and won't be able to stand by and do nothing. Fill me with words that come from you and the courage to speak them. Guard my soul and my heart, and let me stay strong and true.
If I am so wrong Lord, I pray that you will convict me, I pray that you will help me to listen. I am but a fool and I cannot hope to know everything exactly as it is. If I may be wrong, I pray that you will help me to realize that I am. Keep my ears open, and do not let me become deaf to advice, as I often do. Let me be dissuaded if the need be.
But should I not be wrong Lord, let me not be dissuaded and let me keep my path. Give me your discerning spirit to know where you stand Lord, and give me the strength to stand where you do. There isn't a point typing out another five hundred word monologue here if I'm never going to say it. I need you now Lord, and I trust you haven't given up on us yet.
Thank you Lord for all the times you have been with me, and everything Lord. For everything.
In Jesus' name we pray,
Amen.
Labels: feelings, myself, open letter